


Redux

by Spacefille



Series: A Whiter Shade of Pale [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Aftermath of Torture, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2017-11-18 10:14:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacefille/pseuds/Spacefille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being held prisoner for two months Karkat is finally rescued by his guard, Eridan. Sollux, Eridan’s kismesis, helps them escape. He takes them to a place that can only lead to their deaths if they are discovered - Alternia.</p><p>Sollux and Karkat have plans, and Eridan has learnt that his former prisoner is far more important than he had previously thought. He now finds himself stuck between a rock and a hard place and is dependent on the troll he watched and allowed to be tortured for months for his very survival, slim as it might be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I switched to third person in this because I wanted to be able to show other POVs, so the style is quite a bit different than "a whiter shade of pale".

The night was cool against his skin. The faint smell of the sea in the distance reminded him of where he was – home – and why he absolutely should not be there. Eridan sighed, shifting the weight of the heavy canteen on his shoulder. Karkat had slipped into a restless sleep earlier and he had quickly elected to go on the water run, there was a shallow river a stone’s throw away from Terezi’s old hive. Nervous tension thrummed through him the entire way and back and he was still terribly afraid he’d run into something or someone that’d give them away. If they, as adult trolls, were so much as spotted on Alternia they were so incredibly screwed…

He nearly made it back to the tree house, tiny light inside the main room glaringly obvious again the dark of the night. Just seeing it made Eridan wince. Even so he walked a little faster, compulsion driving him to get back there and see if his sleeping charge was still okay.

He literally screamed when something grabbed him from behind. He dropped the canteen (thank god it had a lid) and started to struggle.

“Shut up,” a very familiar voice hissed in his ear fin.

Eridan stopped instantly. “Sol,” he breathed. “Fuck, you scared the shit outta me,” the hacker had been on his husktop when Eridan had left, he expected him to still be up there with Karkat… “Is Kar okay?” he asked.

That got him turned around so fast his head spun, and slammed into a tree, which knocked the breath out of him. “Sol, what?” he began indignantly, hunching in on himself. That hurt.

And he was pissed again, Eridan could see the faint spark of blue and red against the night. It always sort of creeped him out when Sollux used his powers in the dark, the troll’s eyes literally glowed red and blue and that was pretty much all he could see.

He also knew exactly where this was going. Or going to go fast. It always did when Sollux whipped out his powers. “Fuck,” he swore. “Well, get it over with,” he grouched. “I have other places I’d rather be.”

“Oh? And where might that be?” the tone of Sollux’s voice was deadly.

Eridan sighed. He could already feel a headache coming on. “You know where,” he replied, his voice low.

A shove of power pushed him up against the tree again. The other troll strolled towards him and reached out. His hand grasped his shoulder in a crushing grip. Eridan let out a hiss, his ear fins pushing back against the sides of his head defensively.

“Mind telling me exactly what happened today?” the other troll asked, his voice a threatening growl. “That didn’t occur to you to do two perigees ago?”

“Maybe I was trying to keep us both fuckin’ _alive_ , ever consider that?”

That got a low sarcastic laugh. “Right, and then you just changed your mind, sure,” a hand fell to the waistband of his pants, then jerked it away from his skin and slid inside easily. Eridan forced himself to stay still as Sollux’s hand fell against him, manipulating his bulge with sure fingers. He hardened, half against his will, and flinched as he was grasped in a grip that was slightly too tight.

“He offered you something you couldn’t refuse, is that it?” the hand started had started to work him and Eridan clenched his teeth, his eyes slitting. “I see how you treat him, you’re flushed for him, it’s so fucking obvious,” Sollux’s hand stopped. “What I want to know is why now?” 

Eridan couldn’t answer. He really couldn’t. What was he going to say? I let him suck me off? He treated me with a little bit of fucking kindness that you never did and I couldn’t let them hurt him any longer? He gasped, then tried unsuccessfully to push his overbearing kismesis away. “It just happened,” he said finally, resentfully. “I just… I couldn’t do it anymore, even you got to respect that, I _ow_ , Sollux fuck. I – I killed the other fucking guard, okay?”

Sollux made a noise of surprise. That was followed by a derivative snort. “Of course,” he said. “Self-preservation. I should have realized you were in this for yourself.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Eridan snapped back. “I’m _royalty_ , I can get away with culling another fucking guard!” he didn’t mention the fact that someone might decide to take out his yellow-blooded lover as revenge.

Another slam up against the tree and the hand on his shoulder tightened its grip. “So you still haven’t answered my question.”

Eridan shifted, uncomfortably, and realized, not unsurprisingly, he really, really didn’t want to be here right now. He wanted to be upstairs watching Karkat _sleep_ , maybe even sleeping himself. “I want him,” he said finally, his voice a low whine. “I just want him, is that such a bad thing? I know I’m going to die for it, I don’t fucking _care_ ,” he let out a choked sound. “Just let me go already!” he twisted. “You both have your little fucking rebellion thing going on anyway, so maybe I’ll live a bit longer.”

“Maybe _we’ll_ live a little bit longer,” was Sollux’s snarled reply.

Eridan froze. For a moment all he could hear was the sound of his blood rushing in his ears. “Are you threatening me?” he asked, trying to stop his voice from sounding nervous and not quite succeeding.

He didn’t feel any better when Sollux let him go completely, stepping away from him. Eridan curled in on himself, arms around his torso. It made sense. The first he had heard about the rebellion was earlier today, his black lover and his former prisoner had kept everything from him. He was extraneous now, he had done his part and gotten their precious leader out. He felt fear hit him like an ice cold blast of wind to the face. “I’m not any threat to you, you know that,” he said quietly. “Why would I go through the trouble of savin’ him if I was just going to turn him in… _both_ of you in, for a stupid fight you can’t possibly win?”

Sollux folded his arms across his chest. “I know how your head works. You’d do it to save other people. The ones not here yet.”

Eridan sucked in a deep breath, then another. He felt that same coldness set like a stone in the center of his stomach. He had a feeling his relationship with his kismesis was officially over. He hadn’t felt so threatened before in his entire life. Well, post game, that is. “I won’t,” he said finally. The words hurt. This meant everyone else would die. A whole lot of everyone elses. Wasn’t that what he was trying to avoid in the first place? He straightened, still shaken, but looked the other troll in the eyes. “If they want to throw their lives away for some stupid revolution or whatever the fuck, that’s their own damn choices.”

Sollux was silent and Eridan pushed away from the tree, head down as he went for his dropped canteen. He straightened again and looked him in the eyes. “I’m not goin’ to say anything,” there was more silence and Eridan felt like he was going to choke on it. “Let me go,” he said finally, double meaning to his words and only a shade away from actually begging.

The other troll snorted, but took another step away from him.

Eridan fled as quickly as he could without actually looking like he was running.

.

Karkat was still asleep when he got back upstairs. The recuperacoon was too small for any of the adult trolls and the supor slime had long since dried up, so Eridan had to improvise. He bundled up all of the blankets and random objects he could find and had made a sprawling pile in the corner. It wasn’t like Karkat was used to sleeping with supor anyway, after spending two perigees sleeping on a cold hard floor.

He didn’t mean to, but his presence made Karkat jerk awake when he got closer to him. His time in prison and having to be constantly on alert had trained him well.

Eridan offered him a weak smile. He busied himself with uncapping the canteen pouring out a glass of water with slightly shaking hands. He swore softly as a bit splashed out and onto the floor, then picked his way over to Karkat. The troll gave him a questioning look, then tried to sit up. He almost did it, but Eridan had to support him to get him in a sitting position with his free hand.

Karkat shot him a look. “What’s wrong,” he said in his raspy voice. Eridan was fairly sure he damaged it from screaming during his first couple weeks because he hadn’t been able to speak normally since then. Then again, he was fairly sure he hadn’t stopped trying to scream, so it probably hadn’t had a chance to recover.

“Nothing’s wrong, what would make you think that?” Eridan replied. He pressed the cup against the troll’s lips. “Drink,” he said. “It’s just water,” he added.

Karkat did so obediently. When he was done he looked right back at Eridan again, studying him intently. “You’re shaking,” he observed.

“I’m doing nothing of the sort,” Eridan replied, but he gave himself away by shooting a nervous look towards the entrance to the tree house.

Karkat frowned. “What did he say?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Eridan muttered. “He didn’t say nothing,” he put down the now empty glass. “Do you need to use the bathroom?” he asked.

Karkat frowned, then sighed and nodded.

It was nice for once to not have to clean up the mess off the floor, or worse yet from the actual troll himself. He picked Karkat up and took him through the walkways to Terezi’s small bathroom. He supported him with one hand and studied the wall while he took care of his business. Once done he carried him back to the pile and laid him down in it. He pressed a quick kiss to the other troll’s lips before he pulled away again, far too nervous to indulge, even for a second. He went to get up, prepared to find a place to curl up in one of the other rooms of Terezi’s tree house.

Karkat caught his shirt with the couple fingers that did work before he could do so. He gave a small tug to Eridan’s sleeve. “Stay,” he said.

Eridan shot another look towards the door. That got a stronger tug. “Eridan…” there was a pleading note to Karkat’s voice.

“Fine, fine, calm yourself down,” Eridan muttered. He gingerly crawled into the pile, settling down in the blankets behind Karkat. He laid next to him, not quite touching him and was surprised when the other troll shifted closer, curling up against him.

He smelt and Eridan knew that was because he hadn’t had a proper bath in weeks, despite the constant clean-ups. It wasn’t so bad, or at least it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He cautiously placed his arm around the other troll, and smiled softly at him, his eyes kind. “Tomorrow I’ll take you down to the river and give you a proper bath,” he said.

Karkat made a small appreciative sound. “I’d like that,” he said quietly, nosing up against the other troll.

Eridan’s bloodpusher felt like it was going to get stuck in his throat. He was _really_ close. Even back in the prison he hadn’t touched the other troll if he didn’t have to, his actions always quick and utilitarian.

Karkat was asleep again within minutes, his breathing evening out against Eridan’s neck.

A little while later Eridan heard the sound of Sollux climbing the stairs up to the tree house. He hunched into Karkat, holding him closer despite himself. He knew how bad this looked. Incredibly bad. He shut his eyes and relaxed completely, slipping in an old habit he had picked up over the last year or so when he didn’t feel like getting into a row. Sollux had never attacked him when he was asleep. He hoped he wouldn’t start now.

Sure enough the footsteps approached and paused. Karkat woke up, turning his head towards the sounds, and Eridan deliberately kept himself fake asleep.

It was Karkat who spoke first, his voice vibrating against Eridan’s shoulder. “Go to sleep, Sollux,” he said, sounding even more tired than he had looked earlier, which was a bit of a feat. “I’m okay.” 

“What…” Sollux began. He sounded accusatory.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Karkat said, and his voice didn’t leave any room for argument.

For a long moment no one said anything and Eridan resisted the urge to open his eyes. Then Sollux spoke up again. “Fine,” the hacker troll replied with a grumble. The footsteps faded away.

Eridan let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding. He felt the injured troll curl back into him, cuddling closer.

.

The next day wasn’t any less awkward than the first. Eridan actively avoided Sollux, who had elected to spend most of the day on his husktop, typing away furiously. When Karkat finally woke up he got him something to drink and told him that he was going to go get some food out of the ship they had landed in. He knew each ship had about a week’s worth of supplies… after that he and Sol would have to start hunting for dinner. Luckily for them they had Sollux’s power, it would probably make bringing down anything food-like easier. They could also head for the city and steal some supplies, but Eridan didn’t even want to think about that. The risks were far too high. Even a smarter lusus could turn them in if it saw them.

.

Karkat expected the talk the moment Eridan left the hive. It didn’t mean he had to like it at all. He listened as the footsteps approached and a certain bi-colored eyed friend walked into the room.

Sollux stood there for a long moment, studying him from near the doorway, arms folded across his chest. “You should have seduced weeks ago if you thought that was going to work,” he said finally.

Karkat’s jaw set. “That’s not what happened,” he replied, his voice still raspy but definitely stronger than the day before.

A bitter smile twisted Sollux’s lips. “Isn’t it?” he dropped his arms and walked closer to Karkat’s pile.

Karkat met his gaze steadily. “No,” he said simply. He sighed when Sollux still looked very skeptical. “It might be hard to believe, but I pitied him. Pity him. Still.”

Sollux gave him an incredulous look. “How is that even…? Karkat look at what he was doing to you!”

“He never laid a finger on me,” Karkat replied quietly.

Sollux paled slightly. “KK, he told me…”

“What others were doing to me?” Sollux was silent. “Did he mention how he’d clean me up every night? Sometimes he was so injured his hands would shake when he was trying to take care of me, but he never stopped,” Karkat paused. “He’d do everything to fix me up and he’d sit with me for most of his shift. It was the only time I ever got some fucking rest.” Sollux looked stricken.

“I didn’t…”

“The only difference between what he was going through and what I was going through is at least I didn’t have to live under the illusion that the troll beating and pailing me actually gave a shit about me.”

Sollux was completely pale now. “Oh god,” he said. “It’s not like that,” he added weakly.

“Bullshit, Sol. What you had was way too black, you were torturing him because you were pissed, not because he was your black lover. You should have left him half a sweep ago, and you know it.”

Sollux twitched and looked duly chastised. “I couldn’t,” was the soft confession. “He was my only connection to you.”

“And now?”

 Sollux looked away, then looked back to him, a determined expression on his face. “I’ve stopped,” he said. “We’re done,” he added. “I mean I think we’re done,” he hesitated. Eridan had turned him down pretty solidly the night before… and threatening his life had probably sealed the deal. But he’d be lying to himself if he didn’t still hold feelings for the wretched troll. Eridan gave as good as he got… when he fought back. Their relationship was too unequal now, he’d be the first to admit. And Sollux was still not completely convinced letting him live was a good idea, which didn’t bode well for romance in any quadrant.

“If I see you torturing him like that again, I swear to god Sollux when I get better I’m going to kick your ass halfway across this planet for hurting my matesprit. Are we clear?”

Sollux stared at him, then ducked his head with a small smile. “Fine. Deal,” he shook his head. “Fucking matesprit. God KK, I can’t believe you.”

“Believe it,” Karkat paused and his voice softened. “I’ve never seen a troll so dedicated to his work before. When he believes in something he _believes_ in it, and he’ll be a great person to have by our side.”

“Yeah, I still don’t think he’ll convert over so easily…”

“You obviously don’t know him as well as I do. We’ve had him on our side since the moment he decided to rescue me, he won’t stray. This is his entire life now. I’m his entire life now. And, tell me Sollux, what is the one thing Eridan always wanted more than anything?” There was silence and Karkat pressed on. “Why do you think he stayed with you despite what you were doing to him? All he wants is to be loved, like when we were kids, except he’s not a needy douchebag about it anymore.”

Sol shifted again. “Fine, fine,” he muttered. “I get it.”

They both heard him climbing back up to the tree house before he appeared, and stopped talking. Eridan appeared up the hatch, a box of food from the ship they stole clenched tightly in his hands.

Sollux and Eridan exchanged looks. Eridan looked away first, shifting uncomfortably and finally Sollux nodded and stepped away. He shot Karkat one last meaningful look before leaving the room, retreating into one of the back rooms.

Karkat watched as Eridan set about unpacking the box. He pulled the lid off of a container and added water to it to make soup. He approached Karkat with that, kneeling beside him. He smiled and reached out, stroking the side of his face before picking up the spoon and lifting it to Karkat’s lips. The injured troll ate readily, accepting the food without complaint.

He was looking forwards to when he could do this for himself again.

The soup was soon consumed and Eridan put the container down with a little sigh. Karkat watched as he fidgeted and glanced in the direction Sollux had left in.

“He won’t hurt you,” Karkat said quietly.

That got a surprised look, which turned into a pained smile as he realized who Karkat was talking about. “I appreciate that and all, I really do,” Eridan replied. “But I don’t need you protectin’ me.”

That got an eyebrow raise. “Evidently you do,” he was quiet for a moment. “You shouldn’t have to worry if your kismesis is going to kill you or not,” he said. He frowned. “Even before this all happened I wondered how the fuck you two ended up together. You tried to kill each other more times than I can count… even after that stupid fucking game.”

 “Grief brings people together, I suppose,” the purple-blooded troll replied quietly. Word had gotten to them both of Feferi’s death at the hands of the Imperial Condesce at the same time a little over a sweep ago. That was the first time they had slept together, after an all out row that involved more fists than power. It left both of them more than a little injured, very sated, and feeling very much alive.

Karkat looked sympathetic now, understanding in his eyes. Eridan sighed and stood. “Come on,” he said, changing the subject. “I’ll take you down to the river.”

.


	2. Chapter 2

.

The day of rest had done the injured troll good. He could walk again… well, sort of, with heavy support. Even so there was no way Karkat could climb down the stairs with only two functional fingers. Eridan finally had him wrap his legs around his waist and loop his working arm around his neck and gingerly brought them both down.

He picked Karkat up and carried him once they reached the bottom. It took them little time at all to reach the riverbank. Eridan set the other troll down against the side of a tree on the bank and crouched down next to him. He reached out in order to take the other troll’s clothes off, then hesitated. He had seen Karkat naked for two months straight but now that he had given him some of his dignity back it seemed wrong to just start to undress him without permission. “Can I…?” he asked.

Karkat  gave him a look like he was dumb. “It’s not like I can get undressed myself,” the other troll pointed out dryly.

Eridan stifled a smile and slowly began to strip him of his clothes, being careful not to hurt him further in the process. He checked him all over as he did so, inspecting the cuts and scratches for any sign of inflammation. Nothing looked infected, he was healing quite well it seemed. He was painfully gaunt, looked one step away from starving, but he’d fix that soon enough with more and regular feedings.

Karkat had been unable to use his left arm for quite a while he was in the cell, but he was getting a bit of movement back in it. Eridan had felt up and down that arm at the time and had come to the decision that either a muscle was torn or a bone was cracked. Right now he moved it up gently until he hit a point where Karkat winced and he lowered it again. There wasn’t much he could do about it but wait for it to heal. 

He unwrapped the broken fingers on his right hand. Even the swelling was down in them and Eridan heaved another sigh of relief. “Better,” he approved. The last thing he needed to check was his nook. He shot him another look. He had stuck his fingers up there on plenty of occasions in order to clean him and wash torn flesh, but again with the newfound dignity…

Karkat nodded his permission. There was a slight flush to his cheeks now.

Eridan was determined to make this as quick as possible, making an apologetic noise as he reached down. He studied the treetops as one of his fingers mapped out the outside, then sunk inside.

There he could feel what he had for a while now, rough patches where tears had been, that more than likely still caused him pain. The troll the night before last hadn’t been brutal enough to cause new tearing, thank god. He continued on, pressing further inwards, searching for damage, listening for any gasp or twitch that would indicate he was badly hurt.

He didn’t feel anything else.

Excellent. He went to withdraw his fingers once again. What he didn’t expect was for the nook to suddenly clamp down. The warm flesh felt like it was clenching around his fingers, trying to draw them deeper inside. That… had never happened before. He looked back down at the other troll to see that he was blushing, a dark flush to his grey cheeks.

Oh. Eridan flushed himself and withdrew his hand as quickly as he could. “Sorry,” he muttered.

Karkat wouldn’t look at him. “No, it’s me,” he replied. “I know you’re only trying to help.”

Eridan hesitated, then reached out, pressing his hand to Karkat’s shoulder. He was about to say something in reply, then decided he wasn’t going to discuss it further. Karkat was embarrassed enough as it was. He gave the other troll a quick reassuring squeeze on the shoulder instead and then turned away from him. “Give me a moment,” he said. He was used to going into the water with clothes on but he didn’t have anything to dry himself off with here and he only had one change of clothes besides.

He pushed back embarrassment as he stripped down to just his underwear, folding every article of clothing into a neat pile, adding his glasses last. Once he was done he drew a deep breath and stepped back to where the other troll sat.

He didn’t expect the sharp hiss from Karkat. He gave him a questioning look until he saw where his gaze was focused.

His gills along the left side of his ribs. He had forgotten that Sollux had torn them in his anger just a couple days before. They were healing, but the ugly gashes between them remained and they had trouble flaring as he breathed in. He knew for a fact that he’d only be able to breathe out of his right side for the most part the moment he got into the water. Luckily he only needed one side to breathe out of.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. He breathed in deeply to demonstrate, he could smell the water, and sure enough his right side gills flared out completely, happily free from the restrictions of his clothes.

Karkat only looked somewhat convinced, and the expression on his face was stormy. “I can’t fucking believe he touched your gills,” he said.

Eridan let out an awkward little laugh. “It will heal, just have to give it time,” he stepped towards Karkat, determined not to speak about that any longer either. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you wet.” He picked him up with ease. The other troll slipped his working arm around Eridan’s shoulders, nestling his head in the crook of his neck.

The water was cold, and his body soaked it up eagerly. All the high blooded seadwellers had cooler body temperatures than their land dwelling counterparts. It was familiar to him, it was home. His toes practically curled with delight every step further he took into the water, the fins along his hips and thighs peeling away from his sides as soon as water touched them. Karkat was looking down at this point, fascinated. He’d never seen a near naked seatroll in water before, Eridan guessed. He smiled, then, once he was in water up to his waist he dropped down into the water completely.

This came as a shock to Karkat. He gasped and struggled briefly and Eridan nearly dropped him. “What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“Cold,” Karkat replied, his teeth clenched tightly. He was nearly completely submerged now, except for his head and shoulders. Eridan swam onto his back easily, supporting Karkat on top of him with little effort.

“Shhh, you’ll get used to it,” Eridan brought a hand up and stroked down the length of the landtroll’s back soothingly, then dropped his hands to the small of his back as he held him to his chest. It was then when he felt something move against the side of his arm.

Eridan froze. Karkat breathed in, then out, and Eridan felt the movement again. “Kar, what…” he stood again quickly, holding Karkat up with one hand as he forced him to stand long enough for him to pull back and take a look at his side.

He had noticed them back in the cell. Karkat had three rather deep lines along the areas between his ribs on either side. Eridan hadn’t thought anything of them – all trolls had them – including Sollux, though they were much fainter on him. He figured it was some sort of throwback that the landdwellers were forced to live with, the constant reminder of how great they could have been.

If they were _working_ gills they’d be at least somewhat flared like his, now that they had been exposed to water, lifting to show the troll’s vibrant blood color in the delicate folds under the slits. But then… oh.

Right now those slits WERE raised very slightly and he could see the barest hint of red along each one. “Karkat, do you have _gills_?” he asked.

The other troll frowned and looked anywhere but at him. “I… guess,” he said finally. “They don’t really work very well,” he said. “I spend more than a couple minutes underwater and I feel like I’m fucking suffocating.”

“There’s a possibility you just need practice…” Eridan sent a knowing touch over the tops of the three slits and sure enough they flared for him, just a bit, showing off more of the red.

This was amazing, like a new toy he’d been given to play with. “Come on,” he said eagerly, pulling the troll to him again. He smirked once, then slid back into the water, stopping when only their heads were above the surface. He paused a second, then pulled back further, taking the both of them under completely.

He expected Karkat to gasp and choke and then fight to resurface, at which point he would have brought them back out of the water immediately. He had no intention of drowning him after going through all the trouble of helping him escape. Instead a determined look came over Karkat’s face and as Eridan watched his gills flared a tiny bit more and bubbles escaped his mouth. The process repeated and Karkat’s chest rose and fell.

He was breathing under water.

He couldn’t help it. Seeing another troll breathing underwater, especially one he had for the last couple months thought was even less than a lowblood… was also a mutated _seadweller_ … it was both confusing and exciting at the same time. He drew his hands down the lengths of Karkat’s sides, fingers playing with his slits, coaxing them to open wider and the other troll just breathed, eyes half lidded in concentration. Eridan turned them over in the water, flipping them, enjoying the rush of water against his fins. He pushed them forwards, holding the troll a little tighter as he cut through the water with ease. After about thirty seconds of that he looped them around in a long arch, bringing them back towards the way they had come. He slowed them down when he recognized the bank, then turned them back over so that Karkat was on top of him again. He cradled the troll in his arms like he was precious treasure. The other troll seemed content to let him hold him, relaxing against him completely.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, his words coming out as an incomprehensible rush of bubbles. Karkat raised his head, looking at him. He leaned forwards. Eridan blinked as Karkat kissed _him_ , pressing his lips against his own. He opened his mouth, almost in surprise and the other troll pressed in, his mouth sealing against his, tongue slipping against his teeth. His hand came up, threading into Karkat’s hair, kissing him back slowly and carefully. He felt giddy and lightheaded, which had nothing to do with the fact that he was under water. Karkat liked him for some unfathomable reason… and maybe they didn’t have a chance before but _this…_ this felt good. He allowed himself his guilty indulgence.

He did pause when felt the other troll slide against him weakly. He could feel him against his thigh as he rubbed against him as best as he could. The working arm tightened around him, holding his closer.

Eridan brought his hands up, grasping the sides of Karkat’s face, pulling him back gently. He searched his face, but didn’t see anything but the same hard determination as he had seen before. Eridan leaned forwards slightly, pressing his lips to the others wonderingly, catching his exhale.

When he pulled away again Karkat lowered his head and embedded his teeth into Eridan’s shoulder, not hard enough to break skin. For a moment Eridan was confused, until he felt the tension in the other’s body. He figured it out quickly… Karkat needed air. His underdeveloped gills weren’t able to handle being underwater for this long. He listened to his silent communication, pushing them both upwards again. They broke the surface and Karkat’s entire body shuddered as he switched methods of breathing. He let go with his teeth and coughed, spitting up water, but not enough to make Eridan terribly concerned. He rested his head on Eridan’s shoulder after that, relaxing in his arms as the seatroll tread water to keep them both afloat.

Eridan leaned his head back, studying the Alterian sky. It was dim season on this part of the planet, sun was setting already, and one of the moons was out. He missed this as well, he realized. It had been sweeps since he had been here, and the alien skies of other planets were never quite the same when he had the off chance to visit. Home would always be home, no matter how many sweeps he spent in space in the meantime.

He was distracted back to the earth when he felt Karkat begin to move against him again.

He lowered his head and raised an eyebrow at the troll. All that got him in reply was a faint smirk and another slide of bony hips against his own under the water. Eridan sighed, reaching down and grasping Karkat’s hips very gently, stilling them. “I’m not sure this is a very good idea,” he said frankly.

The smirk was replaced with a frown and then he smiled again, this time it was raw and honest. “You saved my life,” he said.

Oh, so that was why… Eridan felt disappointment set in his chest and smiled faintly, bitterly. “Hardly. You nearly died. I didn’t do anything to help you,” his teeth clenched. “I couldn’t even put you out of your fucking misery.”

The other troll gave him a strange soft look. Instead of replying Karkat shifted on top of him, pressing another kiss against the side of his jaw. Eridan swallowed as he continued to trail kisses along the side of his neck, nipping at him gently.

“Kar…” he said finally. He couldn’t help it, his own anatomy was showing interest now and to make it even worse Karkat could feel it too. The disappointment he felt took on an edge of desperation. What he wanted was offered on an open platter, except he didn’t want it if it was because the other troll felt it was repayment for rescuing him. “I can’t do this,” he said, his voice raw. “Not that I don’t appreciate the offer and all that, but I’m not going to just pail you because you think you owe me somethin’.”

Karkat tensed against him, stilling completely. “Fuck you,” he said angrily after a couple seconds of strained silence. “That’s not why… oh my god. You are _such_ a fucking idiot,” he dropped his forehead onto Eridan’s shoulder. He repeated that a couple times. “Fuck.”

Eridan frowned, his brow knitting even as he reached up and caught the back of Karkat’s head so he didn’t do that anymore. “Shh, stop it,” he said, petting his hair to calm him. After a couple moments Karkat relaxed again. “Why, exactly, am I an idiot?” he asked.

Karkat looked up. Eridan was confronted with a glare, Karkat’s red eyes narrowed to slits. “Because I _pity_ you, you dense moron.”

Eridan froze. “… You mean like…” there was a tiny note of hope in his voice.

Karkat rolled his eyes. “ _Yes_. Could I make it anymore fucking obvious? Come on.”

Eridan stared at Karkat. His brain was suddenly threatening to shut down completely. “… how long?” he said, the words catching in his throat.

Karkat gave him a look like he truly the most pitiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. “From nearly the start,” he said. “When I was done being pissed off at myself for getting caught. You didn’t want to be there any more than I did, even if you’re too stubborn to admit it. I pitied you every single fucking night,” he stopped and the look on his face became much more solemn. “I thought you were going to kill me before I had a chance to show you,” he said quietly.

Eridan flinched. “I wouldn’t…” he trailed off. He had been mostly on stunned autopilot when he rescued Karkat, and he remembered the vow he had made to himself. If there had been any chance of Karkat going back there he’d have blasted a hole right through him. He shifted uncomfortably, tilting his head back to study the sky. “Well we’re going to die anyway,” he said finally. He let out a little laugh that sounded pathetic. “All I did was buy us a little time Kar. If they don’t find us, your stupid little revolution or whatever you’ve got planned will finish us off.”

“Fuck, no it won’t,” Karkat glared up at him. “Listen to me,” he hissed, his eyes narrowed again. “Eridan, listen. We’re not going to fucking die. _You’re_ not going to die. I won’t let you, I _promise_.”

“… Funny coming from someone who can barely walk,” Eridan replied. He couldn’t look at him. He shifted in the water nervously, then lowered his head to press it against the side of Karkat’s neck and closed his eyes. He suddenly felt bone-numbingly tired.

That will change soon enough,” Karkat replied, his voice soothing now. “I know what I’m doing, Eridan. I’ve been doing this for sweeps,” he shifted up, moving his working arm up to touch the side of Eridan’s face. He smoothed his fingers over a fin. “You’ve got to trust me. Can you do that?”

Eridan didn’t know what to say, so he merely nodded against Karkat’s neck and tightened his hold slightly.

He was now beginning to see why people followed Karkat. He wanted to believe him. He really did.

.

He finished bathing Karkat silently, his touches lasting longer now, lingering. He wanted to take the other troll, more than anything, but Karkat could barely move and he couldn’t bring himself to pail him when he was like this. When he started to move against him again Eridan stilled his hips.

“Later,” he said, pressing small kisses to his face. “… When you can move a bit more,” he ignored Karkat’s little growl of frustration. Instead he lifted the injured troll out of the water and walked him towards the shore.

Eridan pulled clothes back onto the other troll with care. He then dressed himself and retrieved his glasses. He went back to Karkat and lifted him up, carrying him back up the bank and towards the treehouse.

Right before they broke the treeline he leaned down and pressed one last kiss to the other troll’s lips. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

Karkat made a contented humming sound in the back of his throat and smiled up at him before tugging him down for another kiss.

.


	3. Chapter 3

.

Getting Karkat back up the stairs was about as hard as getting him down. Eridan finally wrestled them both back into the main room, only to stop cold. Sollux stood there, arms folded across his chest, husktop by his feet. Eridan literally felt frozen, his breath catching in his throat. Did he see? He had kissed Karkat in plain twilight, had he _seen_?

Karkat let himself down, leaning against Eridan for support. “Shh,” he got papped on the cheek gently. “What do you want?” he said to Sollux in a far more irritated voice. Eridan turned his head to look at the smaller troll, surprised at the tone of his voice.

Karkat only looked determined and a bit angry.

Sollux quirked an eyebrow at that and seemed to consider before relaxing slightly. “I need to talk to you about plans,” he glanced at Eridan. “Alone,” he added.

Karkat shook his head. “Eridan stays,” he replied. Sollux looked surprised and Eridan shifted uncomfortably.

“It’s okay, Kar, I can go. Here, just let me take you over to the couch…” he began to lead the injured troll in that direction.

Karkat frowned up at him. “No, Eridan. You’re going to stay because you’re in this with us now,” he managed a grin that came out like a grimace. “We can use your paranoia to our advantage.”

“What? I’m not paranoid,” Eridan said. That got a snort from Sollux.

“Yeah. You kinda are,” he muttered. “KK, look, I just don’t think this is a good idea. You know he’s as loyal to both the hemospectrum _and_ the empire as anyone could fucking be.”

“Was,” was the short reply from Karkat. He sat with a soft groan and lots of support. Eridan stepped away from him after that to stand awkwardly beside the couch. He wanted to flee, not stand between his former kismesis and hopefully soon to be matesprit as they discussed whether or not to include him in their suicidal plans. “Eridan, how do you feel about the empire?” Karkat asked in a bored tone of voice.

Eridan looked stricken. “I don’t…”he drew a deep breath. “Well there ain’t anything we can do to change the empire and all that. You know what happened to Fef. Even if you took out the – the Condesce, you got a power vacuum. No one to take her place.”

Karkat got a small smile on his face. “What if we told you we have something to replace her?” he asked.

Now both Eridan and Sollux were staring at him. “Unless something changed in the last few weeks or so,” he added, a bit ruefully. “Which is a possibility.”

“What?” Eridan breathed. “Who is it?” He hadn’t heard of any new empress being hatched or anything like that… and even if one had hatched, the likelihood she’d reach adulthood was very slim. Feferi had only made it because she went into hiding soon after the game and whenever the current empress came back to the moon palace Feferi was nowhere to be found. He always found it amazing that she kept in touch with him at all… she was the only one that did, except for Sollux of course and his occasional antagonizing messages to gloat about whatever he was managing to do better than Eridan. That included rubbing his face in the fact that he was pailing Feferi…

Sollux stepped forwards, grabbing Eridan’s arm in a crushing grip. “KK _shut up_ ,” he snarled. He turned to Eridan. “You really should leave,” he said, giving Eridan a level look, and the threat was there again. He looked like he was only seconds away from pulling out his power and blasting Eridan. The seatroll cringed despite himself.

“Sollux!” Karkat snapped. Eridan watched, amazed, as he struggled and then stood, good arm propping himself up so he could maintain his standing position. He bore his teeth at Sollux. “I told you if you so much as lay a _finger_ on my matesprit…”

Eridan gasped slightly that the other troll had said it out _loud_ , terror crossing his face. “Don’t…” he started.

Karkat spared him a glance. “Eridan calm the fuck down. Sollux let him go. For fuck’s sake both of you,” he turned his glare to Sollux. “As your _leader_ I’m uniquely qualified to tell you who can join or not, and talk about our plans to or not.”

“As your right hand troll and after being involved with both of you dipshits for sweeps I’m uniquely qualified to tell you this is a really fucking bad idea,” Sollux grouched back at him. Even so he let go of Eridan’s arm with a little shove. “It’s one thing to compromise _us_ , we’re already doomed, but if you start naming names, that’s another. He didn’t do a damn thing to let you go for months. MONTHS KK. I tried everything. Sure, he tried to make your life a little bit easier for you, but if the orders came down to kill you, he’d have done it himself.”

Eridan couldn’t look at either one of them now and instead studied the floor. That was true. Nothing much he could do to protest that. That got a disgusted huff from Sollux. “What if they capture him, huh?” he continued. “You think he’d keep his mouth shut?”

Okay, that wasn’t fucking fair. Eridan raised his head. “Hey,” he said. “I can take fucking torture. I endured you didn’t I?”

That got a flinch out of Sollux, even though he just looked all the more angry for it. Eridan pushed on. He was going to die anyway...

“I told you already, I'm not going to say nothin’. Yeah I think this is a ridiculously bad idea, but I ain’t no squealer. Fuck you,” he said. He looked from one troll to the next. Honestly all he really wanted to do right now was either run away as fast as he could, or, if that wasn’t an option, go to Karkat and cling to the troll that currently held his life in his hands.

Instead he ended up taking a step back and watching as Karkat and Sollux glared at each other. Sollux ultimately ended up backing down. “Fine,” he said, his voice a low growl. He stalked over to his husktop and picked it up. “He’s in. Congratulations ED, you got your very own get the fuck out of jail free card.”

Eridan stifled a small sigh of relief. Karkat made to sit down again and he rushed to his side, taking him and lowering him back down to the couch. After a moment’s hesitation he sat down beside him, and when Karkat inclined his head towards him he curled up against his side, trying his best not to shiver. He fucking knew his life would be over right now if not for this troll. Karkat papped his cheek again. “Shhh,” he said quietly.

Sollux spared them a glance. “Oh for fucks sake,” he muttered, but he didn’t say anything else. Instead he called up something on his screen. “So tomorrow, Nepeta…” he began.

.

Eridan was beyond shaken by the time they were done talking a couple of hours later. He actually had to get up and prepare more soup to get his mind off of the mind-fuckery.

They had everyone in on it. Everyone. Even _Gamzee_. He seemed to be one of the only troll from their childhood friend group who didn’t know a damn thing that was going on. Well him and Vriska. Even Equius seemed to be in on it, to a lesser capacity, because they were banking on him not being able to turn in his moirail. He had been left out because, as Sollux had re-illiterated several times, he was nothing but a liability.

Eridan was angry… actually he was absolutely fucking livid and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. If Sollux had just told him about all of this, Eridan wouldn’t have turned him in. What would that have accomplished anyway? Another pointless death of a friend. He had made that kind of mistake and he wasn’t eager to repeat it. He was fighting to protect Sollux… Karkat’s life was already over the moment he got caught, but he’d have done anything to keep Sol safe…

Not that that had mattered in the end, had it?

And even if he _had_ turned Sollux in, there was nothing he could have done to stop this. They had an entire army. And entire fucking underground army. It looked like each troll from their game had their group of soldiers and friends under them. Sollux mentioned a small network of elite hacker friends, all ready to crash the mainframe. Terezi had a small core of lawyers and politicians in her pocket. Gamzee was still fucking scary and had highblooded Capricorns who would follow him into pretty much any battle. He was the only one who had nobody.

And they had _Feferi_. He had gasped at that, his eyes welling with tears. “How long?” he had demanded to know, looking from one troll to the other. “How long have you known?”

Karkat looked uncomfortable; Sollux answered the question. “Karkat’s known from the beginning. I only found out a few months back, calm down. They needed to keep her dead, and keep her off the radar. The less of us who knew it, the better.”

Apparently Nepeta had her squirreled away somewhere, hopefully far away, awaiting news in order to make their move.

He still didn’t know what to think of that. It felt like an even bigger betrayal than being kept out of the loop from all of this in the first place. Sollux knew… Sollux _knew_ and never told him, never even hinted that she might still be alive. Her death was what had brought them together in the first place. He let out a choked sound that he kept as muffled as possible as he finished pouring the soup into a bowl. He got his shit together and drew a deep breath. He adjusted his collar before picking up the soup and bringing it back over to Karkat.

He silently made him eat. They had both finished talking anyway, Sollux was typing away on his husktop to old friends and Karkat looked contemplative. Finally he looked up and gave Eridan a tired smile. “Pile?” he asked.

“Sure,” Eridan replied quietly. He bent down and picked the troll up again, moving them both over to the corner. He put Karkat down gently and blushed when the other troll tugged on his sleeve. “Kar…” he shot a nervous glance over at Sollux. The hacker troll looked up at them, then rolled his eyes.

“That’d be my cue,” he muttered. He picked up his husktop and got to his feet. “May you both have all the happiness that whatever remains of our pathetic lives affords you.”

“Fuck off,” Karkat replied without heat. The corner of Sollux’s mouth quirked up into a half smile as he left the room.

Karkat waited until he was gone to tug at Eridan’s sleeve again. Eridan went willingly, lying against the smaller troll and letting him curl up against him. At least he didn’t smell any longer, now that he had given him a washing.

“How are you doing?” Karkat asked, his still raspy voice low and soothing.

Eridan swallowed. “Terrible,” he replied honestly. “You’re goin’ get a whole bunch of people killed.”

 Karkat was silent for a moment. “Maybe,” he replied. “Why does it bother you so much? You’ve killed a bunch of people before,” he added.

“What? You mean before the fucking game? That was different,” Eridan replied with a huff. “We were kids and we had two lusus to feed. And that fucking guard doesn’t count,” he hadn't even told Sollux this, but he hadn't been able to pointlessly kill anyone since his mistakes in the game, that game had ruined him. Or maybe made him a better troll, he wasn't sure.

Karkat gave him a level look. “Okay,” he said finally. “We might be able to pull this off with minimal casualties,” he added.

“Fine,” Eridan sighed in light of his optimism. “Yeah maybe,” he curled in closer. “If you’re really fucking lucky.”

Instead of replying Karkat smiled at him. The smaller troll then reached out, stroking the side of his face, then drew him towards him. They kissed, slow and languid, and yet again Karkat was much more in charge of the kiss than Eridan was.

“We’re going to win this thing,” Karkat said when he pulled away again. “And you’ll be by my side the entire way.”

Eridan nodded and then rolled his eyes as what he said set in. “Well a course I fucking will, where the hell else would I be?”

Apparently it was the right thing to say because the grin he got from Karkat was stunning.

.

“You’re using him,” there was no heat to Sollux’s voice this time, just observation. Eridan was on another water run, and Karkat had elected to walk around the place, using the walls and objects for support. It hurt, but it felt good to use his legs again. The swelling had almost disappeared in his fingers, his accelerated troll healing insuring his bones were knitting together and they were usable again with mild pain and discomfort. Eridan had bundled them up again that evening in attempts to make sure he didn’t rehurt them, insisting they remain as immobile as possible for a while longer.

Karkat frowned. “Does it count as using if I don’t intend to leave him?” he said.

Sollux raised an eyebrow. “So you’re saying that once this is all done you’re going to keep that prissy asshole as your matesprit?”

Karkat gave him a look. “He’s seen me at my absolute worst and still wants me. That’s more than I could say for most trolls.”

“I’ve seen you at your worst,” Sollux replied.

Karkat paused. “Do you want me?” he asked.

“Fuck no,” Sollux replied, which got a faint smile from Karkat.

“As long as he stays faithful I see no reason to let him go,” Karkat said.

“What about Terezi?” Sollux asked.

Karkat paused. “That was a really long time ago,” he grouched. “You know I fucked that one up.”

“She still likes you,” Sollux said. “It’s really fucking obvious.”

Karkat frowned. “Then she can have me black.”

Sollux let out an impatient sigh. “KK, you couldn’t pull off a black romance even if you wanted to. You care too damn much about fucking everyone.”

“You know, you’re starting to sound kind of pale…”

“… or like I’ve been your friend for eight fucking sweeps and you just got tortured for two perigees and now you’re letting the troll who watched you get pailed every day pail you as well.”

“I initiated that,” Karkat replied.

“Ergo ‘using,’” Sollux snapped back. “What are you going to say to the others? Some of them haven’t even seen him since the game. Kanaya is going to be pissed, he blew a fucking hole right through her.”

Karkat shrugged. “She’ll live with it,” he replied.

“Fuck, you’re impossible,” Sollux said with exasperation. They both heard Eridan climbing back up the stairs, and Sollux backed off. He cleared the room before Eridan could come in, though he wasn’t far enough away to not hear the other troll’s exclamation of delight to see Karkat up and walking.

It was disgusting, but Karkat was nearly as stubborn as Eridan was. There was no talking him out of this, his mind was set.

.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to reviewer sabaku_no_gaara_ai, I wrote more because of your encouragement. 
> 
> I changed the name of the fic to "Redux" instead of "REdux", I can no longer remember why I thought capitalizing the E was a good idea.

.

The next couple days became a waiting game. Sollux said that people were being moved into place, plans were made, and the three of them just had to hang low and wait. They were all on edge in some way or another, Eridan more so than the other two. Sollux was still convinced that they were in the safest place they could be… he had hacked the system on the transport before they had stolen it, not only making it untrackable but also throwing a false tracking signal in the wrong direction. If they moved, they were at a higher risk of being spotted, at least according to him. Eridan reluctantly agreed. As long as they weren’t seen planet side, staying put made sense.

On the other hand, having a matesprit was amazing. They hadn’t pailed yet, not that Karkat seemed to mind the thought of pailing, but Eridan did and quietly assured him he didn’t need any of that until he was better. He loved everything else to do with having a matesprit. He wanted nothing more but to spend all the time he could cuddling with Karkat, holding him, and taking care of him. Even Sollux was beginning to get used to it, no longer making snide comments, but instead choosing to ignore them both completely. He also didn’t make any sort of kismesis-like passes at Eridan, which relieved the stressed out seadweller intensely.

Karkat continued to improve. Two days after their trip to the river and he was walking on his own, slowly. He had regained some movement in his left arm, enough that the fingers were mobile. He still favored picking things up with his right, despite the healing fingers there.

He asked Eridan to take him down to the river again that evening, before the sun went down the entire way. Eridan blushed, but agreed.

It was shockingly intimate to take his clothes off carefully in the close proximity of someone he was so incredibly flushed for. Karkat didn’t need to be checked out for injuries again, and he was even able to get his pants off at very least, though he still needed help with his shirt. Eridan did silently, feeling the tips of his fins burn as he did so, and kept his eyes away from his exposed body.

Karkat didn’t seem to care. He limped into the water and instantly got back out again, shivering. “Fuck,” he declared.

“You only got wet to your ankles!” Eridan laughed and swept him up into his arms. He nuzzled his cheek playfully before taking them both in and dumping Karkat in the river. Gently.

.

Sollux came and got them both a while later. They had swam for a bit, and now Eridan had Karkat under water again. He firmly believed that Karkat’s gills just needed to get stronger, and sure enough Karkat had gone longer than he had before, that determined look back on his face as he breathed in through his sides. Eridan grinned and kissed him carefully, and got an answering kiss in reply.

He felt the power wrap around them both and quickly found himself and Karkat lifted out of the water far enough that their heads and torsos were above the surface. Sollux stood on the bank, looking beyond pissed off. “And you trying to fucking drown him?!” the psionic demanded to know. “You’ve had him down there for ages!”

Eridan choked out a laugh and let go of Karkat, which didn’t do anything because Sollux was still holding them both up with his power. “Look at his sides!” he called out at him. Sure enough Karkat’s small gills were still flared out, showing bright red under them. “He’s a fucking seadweller,” he added.

Sollux’s eyes widened in shock and he abruptly dropped them both. Eridan caught himself but Karkat went under briefly, only to resurface, sputtering. “Sollux what the fucking hell!” he snarled and started to make for the bank. “Do you really think he’d have kept me alive all this time just to _drown_ me?”

Sollux gapped at him. “How long have you had gills?” he replied.

Karkat stopped and glared. “Forever,” he said with a grumble. “I didn’t tell anyone because they don’t work that well and it’s just another fucking mutation to hold over my head.”

“Wow. Uh, okay. So you’re a seadweller. Huh.” Eridan smirked as Sollux slowly shook his head in disbelief. “Anyway,” he said finally when he seemed to get a hold of himself again. “We have guests incoming. You two freaks might want to stop the swimming lessons and get dressed.” With that he stalked back up the bank.

“”Freaks’ says the troll with two bulges,” Eridan called out after him.

That got him an answering zap that threw him back into the water, but it was totally worth it.

.

“If I’m goin’ to be part of your little rebellion I need it.”

The idea occurred to Eridan on the walk back to the treehouse and now he was pacing the room. He was talking about his Crosshairs. He left it in his hive when he graduated, the Imperial troops wouldn’t let him on the adult troll transport ship with it and he had convinced himself that it was okay to let his sacred heirloom go. It remained on his abandoned hive, ready for the next seadweller wiggler to claim. He sort of hoped that never happened.

He wanted his weapon back. It belonged to his adult ancestor, and it would be his once again.

Sollux currently had his arms crossed and was glaring at him. Karkat, freshly cleaned from the river didn’t look terribly upset, in fact his mouth was curved up into a small smile.

“I’m close to my old stompin’ grounds,” Eridan added. From the memory of his flarping days he was about an hour down the river to the coast and another hour walk to his old hive. He looked from one to the other. “I’m not going to get caught. I know my way along the coast. I used to hunt there, remember? I’ll be back before dawn.”

“Yeah, go,” Karkat said with a wave of his good hand. Eridan watched as Sollux swung his head around and glared at Karkat instead, which was ignored. Karkat glanced back at Eridan. “You might want to hide it in the woods though. Nepeta and Feferi will be here soon, and they haven’t seen you in sweeps, dude. You don’t want to scare them.”

Eridan turned white. He had been so focused on his weapon he hadn’t thought that maybe Feferi would be one of the trolls that would be coming. Here of all places, to the surface! “Fef?” he squeezed out. He cleared his throat quickly. “I didn’t know they were…” he turned his head to stare at Sollux. “When you said Fef was coming I assumed she was far away!” he exclaimed. “You mean she’s been close-by this entire glubbing time?”

Sollux rolled his eyes. “Of course she’s been on the surface the entire time. Where else are we going to hide an empress heir-apparent? Space?”

“Well… yeah?” Eridan returned, his mouth slightly ajar. “Maybe outside of the fuckin’ empire so she doesn’t get culled?”

There was a spark. “She’s not going to get culled, oh my god will you _stop_...”

Eridan actually put his hands in his still wet hair. “You have no idea if that’s true!” he exclaimed. “They do inspections, you know! She might be safe for a little while but eventually she’d be found!”

“Oh, like we haven’t considered that? You think we’d just leave her here with no protection? How stupid do you think we are?!” Sollux’s lisp was in full force, and he was pissed.

“SOLLUX. Eridan!” that was Karkat now. Eridan’s mouth snapped shut and he saw Sollux’s do the same.  Karkat sighed and held up both hands, including the weak one. “Sollux shut the fuck up, you’re not helping. Eridan, go get your weapon, you never know that thing might come in handy,” he paused as Sollux let out a noise of protest. “Really, come on now, this is stupid. Stop glaring at me like I’m a bad wiggler that deserves to be reprimanded. My matesprit,” he stressed the word again, which made both Eridan and Sollux cringe. “Will make a much better body guard,” Eridan’s fins picked up at that. “If he is armed. Eridan, why are you still even here?” Karkat didn’t even turn his head to look at Eridan.

Right. Eridan bowed out and started down the ladder before he could witness the oncoming fight, because he knew that look on Sollux’s face. Sol didn’t trust him as far as he could throw him. He did agree with Karkat that his Crosshairs should be hidden until he absolutely needed it. The last thing he needed to do was appear threatening to trolls that probably already knew he let Kar get tortured for two perigees. He was going to keep his head down… he already was. It wasn’t his fault that Sollux couldn’t see it was a really good idea for him to have his weapon back.

He only brought it up because he could see exactly where this was going. He used to flarp harder than any troll he knew. He studied histories of war, of strategy. Sol had been cagey about their next move, so Eridan had imagined it up. It wasn’t hard to see where it was going. They were going to try for a completely offensive attack, using the element of surprise to their advantage. The fact that Feferi was here, so close to the Imperial Palace, confirmed it.

It made sense. Every troll served a purpose. Nepeta made a fine body guard for the empress to be. Gamzee, if he was with them, would make a fine, if batshit crazy, shield. Sollux… he was the strongest weapon they had, all things considered. If his little hacker friends could bring down the capital… ground the ships, cause chaos, Sol himself could physically act as a shield for Fef. He knew how much his ex-kismesis cared for her, that part he’d do until his death.

Where did that leave him? He had a feeling Karkat would want to be front and center, even though it’d be really smart of him to lay low, he was going to have to talk to him about it when he got back. It had only been four nights, and Kar could barely walk, let alone attack anyone.

It was why he suddenly decided he needed his old weapon, and leading a troll who could barely walk through the woods just confirmed it. He was a fugitive now, with a very special troll to protect, and he was going to do that as best as he was able.

.

He was in luck. The ship was still abandoned, his lusus gone off to find a new wiggler long ago and still hadn’t returned. The ship was exactly how he remembered, except for the layer of dust on everything. He felt a pang as he peaked inside his room, old memories flooding back. Some new wiggler would inherit this someday, clean it out and make it theirs. This was no longer his, and it kind of hurt…

He found the Crosshairs just where he left it, right inside one of his biggest weapon vaults. He considered, then shouldered as many rifles as he could get his hands on. He’d hide them all in the woods and mention it to Karkat when he got back. They may be able to use some of his stuff when they went to war.

.

He nearly didn’t make it back before morning. He hastily hid his weapons in the woods, stashed his Crosshairs in the ship and made his way up the ladder, his heart pounding as he did so. What if they were here… what if they were angry…?

He stepped out into the main room, to find that Karkat was sitting on the couch, Feferi on one side and Nepeta on the other.

Oh. She was just as lovely as she used to be, except more so, fully grown adult troll, with crazy hair she was letting grow out, pulled back into a simple thick braid. He wanted to smile but he found himself frozen, half with terror.

As he stood there, his fins flattened defensively, Feferi gave him a smile and got to her feet. She crossed the room quickly and enveloped him into a huge hug.

Eridan was stunned. “Uh. Hi, Fef?” he said cautiously.

“Oh, Eridan,” Feferi said, pulling away, her eyes glimmering with tears. “Karkat was telling us how you saved him. Thank you so much,” she hugged him again, this time firmly, like she really meant it.

Eridan shot Karkat a look over her shoulder. “I think he might be leaving out some small details,” he commented, his throat dry.

“I already tried,” that was Sollux, calling out from another room, the disgust in his voice obvious. “They’re convinced you’re some sort of hero, fuck.”

“Ah,” Eridan said and found he had no retort… there was nothing to say. His cheeks decided to flare up with embarrassment and gratefulness that they didn’t side against him. Though there was no telling how much Karkat’s version of events overrode Sollux’s and he could tell by the look his matesprit shot the other room that he was a little annoyed. The fight they had must have been a good one. He was glad he hadn’t been around for it.

Feferi pulled away, walking back to the couch to sit beside Karkat, then seemed to think better of it and left a space between her and Karkat as an offering. “Uh,” Eridan stuttered. “I’ve got to make some food. Do you want some?” he ducked his head to avoid the fact that all three of them were looking at him a little strangely. “I’ll do that.”

.

The girls got settled in later that day, after Eridan spent the entire morning of sitting in the corner trying his best not to feel completely lost and failing miserably. Karkat listened avidly to their tales of adventure and living in the caving system. They even got to see a mother grub give birth and Eridan had blanched at that. That was one thing he was certain he never ever wanted to witness.

By the time the two girls decided to go off to find a place to sleep it was already midday. The sun was shining through Terezi’s window coverings, where it could break through the foliage. The filtered light was turning the entire place orange and yellow.

Karkat let out a little sigh the moment they left, slumping where he sat. Eridan was to his side instantly, helping prop him up. “Pile,” Karkat said quickly. Eridan nodded and helped him to his feet, leading him over to the pile. Karkat tugged him down on top of himself and instantly wrapped around him. Karkat let out a small sigh, burying his head against Eridan’s shoulder.

“Being the so called second coming is fucking exhausting,” he said after a moment.

Eridan considered that. “You’re a messiah as well as a rebel leader?” he asked. He wasn’t even surprised.

“Some think so,” Karkat replied.

Eridan laughed, unexpectedly, and was glad when Karkat did as well. “Is that how you got caught?” he asked after the laughter died and silence returned. “Preachin’ and shit?”

Karkat shook his head. “Naw,” he said. “I’m careful about stuff like that,” he added. “I was just unlucky. Usually only a few close friends knew where I was, I was safe most of the time. I guess eventually something has to go to shit, it always does,” he sighed and pulled away, rolling over onto his back to stare at the ceiling. He lowered his voice so that only Eridan could hear. “We haven’t discussed it, but I think it was one of Sollux’s hacker friends. He told me he cut his network down to only a handful… before he used to have connections all over the place. So… yeah. It takes one malicious asshole and suddenly your entire plans for empire domination go out the window.”

“Fuck,” Eridan said. He didn’t know… no wonder Sollux was so damn angry all the time. He wasn’t just angry at Eridan he was also angry at himself…

Karkat shrugged. “No one knows for sure, and it doesn’t matter. I don’t hold it against him, as I said… it was just a matter of odds. Eventually luck runs out.”

Eridan searched his face and really, he didn’t see any anger there at all. After a moment Karkat flashed a strained grin and leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. Eridan tried to not feel a faint lick of helpless despair as he kissed his matesprit back. He’d do anything for Karkat. He didn’t even care what he preached or thought he was, he’d do anything because he pitied the troll like crazy.

He was going to get culled, he just knew it. That was his last thought before he faded off into a troubled sleep, pressed up against Karkat in the pile.

.

He woke before Karkat did, before any of them did, and turned his face towards the window.  The sun was setting slowly. He got up carefully, jolting Karkat awake in the process. He leaned over and kissed him softly, telling him to go back to sleep and that it was nothing. Karkat did, amazingly quickly, troubled brow smoothing out as he relaxed.

Eridan saw himself out and went to get his rifle. He started down the path he had taken the night before, pausing briefly as he stared up at the moon. She was up there, somewhere, and they were going to attack her…

He shook his head to clear it and broke into a run.

.

He made it back to his old hive within an hour, the path familiar to him as he had just taken it the night before. He climbed down the ladder and let himself in, finding his old library in no time. He sighed at the dust.

This was another one of the things he regretted not being able to take with him. Off planet everything existed on computers and networks, old books were unheard of.

He reached out and brought some of the books down.

Here it was. He opened the weighty tome, skimming the pages to find the passage he remembered. When he did he read it intently. It was about the Summoner, a mutated winged troll who managed to get his little rebellion completely crushed by the Condesce, a hundred or so sweeps ago. It was when adult trolls had to start living off world to begin with, to stop their stupid silly little rebellions from starting in the first place.

He found the passage. The Summoner wore the symbol of the Sufferer around his neck, curved in the shape of Imperial handcuffs opposite one another…

Eridan pressed his thumb against the word handcuff, finding it suddenly difficult to breathe. Karkat’s symbol… two cuffs. Why hadn’t he seen it before? he swallowed, his mouth going dry.

“Your ancestor got up to a lot of fuckin’ trouble,” he said out loud. He slowly closed the book and shouldered the Crosshairs. “Doesn’t matter much now, does it.” It really didn’t, when it came down to it. Here he was, a fully grown adult troll on the surface of the planet, violating every rule the Condesce had established, about to engage in open rebellion. There was only one difference between their little party, and the Summoner’s crusade… they had a replacement empress.

He put the book away and went back to his sleeping block. He had a navel uniform there, one he had fashioned after what he thought his ancestors might have looked like. He never wore it of course, it was made for an adult troll and created on a whim and empty fantasy. He pulled it on carefully, surprised when it fit him somewhat well. He adjusted the collar and inspected himself in the mirror. He looked every inch the adult seadweller he was meant to be. He smoothed down the fabric across his front and forced his hands not to shake. He was broken, he knew that, but he didn’t have to show it. His matesprit was the leader of a rebellion and they were going to take out the Condesce. That was fucking frightening enough, he didn’t need to be scared of the wigglers that used to be his friends when he was six sweeps old. Even Sollux, who could eviscerate him with a thought, wasn’t going to touch him as long as Karkat was around.

He did his hair carefully, pressing his lips into a firm line as he did so. He placed some of the adult sized rings from his collection back on his fingers. His transformation was complete with the addition of a gold chain across his chest to pin his ancestor’s vibrant color and cape in place. If he was going to die for a cause, he was going to do it in style.

.

It was far after dark when he made his way back to Terezi’s hive. This time he didn’t leave the Crosshairs hidden, no matter what they had decided the day before. He was a full member of the rebellion now, whether his own ancestor would have approved of his actions or not… whether the rest of the rebellion approved or not.

He climbed the ladder and tried to calm his breathing as he did so. He stepped into the main room to find not only Feferi, Nepeta, Karkat and Sollux sitting there, but also Kanaya as well.

The teacup in Kanaya’s hand rattled as she abruptly put it down in the saucer.

“Well?” he said, looking at them all in turn, they all looked shocked, except for Sollux, who looked pissed off beyond comprehension. “I’m ready,” he said, forcing his voice to be steady as he shouldered the Crosshairs again. He stood tall, shoulders back, showing them all how confident he was, no matter how little he felt inside. “Bring on the war.”

.


	5. Chapter 5

.

“Kanaya, you are not allowed to kill, maim, or dismember my matesprit,” Karkat said calmly. Eridan let out a tiny huff of relief at that. Kanaya shook herself slightly, and delicately put down her cup and saucer on the table in front of her.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she said after a moment.

Sollux, who had both eyebrows raised and a snarl on his lips, snorted and looked away and at once the tension was broken.

“Eridan, come here,” Karkat demanded, and patted the couch beside him. “We were just discussing our plans for tomorrow.”

Eridan paused. “Tomorrow?” he asked. “We’re attacking tomorrow,” he felt a cold shock go through him. That was altogether too soon, though he supposed it made sense. They had everyone now, with Kanaya’s surprise appearance they had half of their childhood friend group.

Sollux nodded now. “Welcome to the program,” he said. He stepped away from the wall and picked up his husktop. “Sit the fuck down and listen, I’m only going to go through this once.”

Eridan took off the Crosshairs and placed it by the door before going over to Karkat. He took off his cape before sitting, considering for a moment before putting it around Karkat’s shoulders. He could see Karkat struggling not to smile as Sollux let out an audible sigh of annoyance.

.

He was right, it was a full on offensive attack. Almost everything he predicted would happen was going to happen. Sollux knew he had one chance of bringing down the system as they flew in with the stolen transport. Gamzee was at ready. Equius had volunteered robots to the cause, which would be part of the first wave of attack. Kanaya and Nepeta would protect the heir as they entered the palace. The Condesce… they’d been tracking her movements as well. She was in the capital at the moment, in the heavily guarded palace. They had turned to look at him then, when Sollux mentioned that he used to work there.

“In the prisons mostly,” he muttered, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “You have maps, don’t you?”

“Someone who has been there can help us pin point out any places of possible ambush,” Nepeta pointed out. He was glad, as she spoke, that she had apparently dropped the stupid roleplaying way of talking about herself in the third person that she used to do all the time when they were young.

“Fine,” Eridan agreed with a sigh. He got to his feet and went over to Sollux. “Lemme look at what you got.” Sollux reluctantly turned his husktop over to him.

All they had were floor plans, but at least they looked up to date. There were a couple places he could see issues with an attack, and told them as much. “To be honest, you’d be better off coming in through the roof, especially if you got robots in the front lines,” he pointed to the room before the throne room. “Here she’s got skylights that are open when the moon is dark, and even when they’re closed I bet they can be blasted open.”

Karkat sat up at his words. “Can we do that?” he asked Sollux.

Sollux considered. “I can get a few of us up there, but not a lot. Maybe five?”

Karkat turned to Eridan. “How many guards line that room and the throne room?” he asked.

Eridan hesitated, counting silently in his head. “At least a dozen. Maybe four out here, and eight to ten in her throne room.” He sounded despondent. “This is a suicide mission, I knew it would be. Even if we break in through the ceilin’, she’s got massively strong guards and she’s crazy herself. We’re goin’ to get culled before we even reach her.”

“Equius’ robots can fly, can’t they?” Karkat directed that at Nepeta. She nodded happily.

“Easily solved,” Karkat replied. “Get a few bots to go in seconds before us. They distract the guards. We take them out, that will give us a clear shot at her Imperialness.”

“Wait a minute,” Eridan raised his head as Karkat’s words set in. He knew this would happen, that Karkat would want to be front and center in the fight. “There’s no us involved,” he said. “Me, Fef, Sol, Kan, Nep, sure. Not you.”

Karkat’s eyes flashed, his mouth hardening into a firm line. “I’m going in,” he replied.

Eridan stood, shoving the husktop back into Sollux’s lap as he did so. “No, you’re not,” he replied, just as stubbornly as Karkat. “You can barely fuckin’ walk Kar, you’re an easy target and I’m not lettin’ you anywhere near a culling fork.”

For the first time since rescuing him, Eridan saw anger in Karkat’s eyes, directed right at him. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Eridan,” he snapped. “I’m going in, I’m the rebel leader…”

“Then lead!” Eridan barked back. “But don’t you go throwing your life away pointlessly! You go in there you’re not coming back out again alive. Maybe before you got caught and fucking tortured for ages you coulda, but you can’t even fucking walk right, let alone fight!”

“He’s got a point, KK,” that was Sollux now, from beside him, and he watched the angry look on Karkat’s face grow.

“Don’t you start – “ he began.

“No, actually, please do, be my guest,” Eridan wasn’t even being sarcastic and he saw out of the corner of his eye all three girls were exchanging uncomfortable looks.

“This is my cause!” Karkat exclaimed, looking between Sollux and Eridan. “I’m not going to just let four of my best friends and my matesprit do this alone!”

“Yes you damn well will,” Eridan returned. He shook head quickly and changed tactics to one a little bit more pleading. “Kar, you need me. I know that palace better than anyone. You need Sol because he can blast a hole through any wall we come across. You need Fef because she’s the only one that can cull the empress and you need Kan because she’s really fucking indestructible. I’m not stupid, I’m not. If I die it doesn’t mean anythin’. If you die there’s going to be chaos. How many trolls do you got in on this? How many trolls are going to be lookin’ for guidance when this is all said and done, and when you’re not there there’s going to be a giant fuckin’ hole in their lives?”

The expression on Karkat’s face softened. “I’m doing this for Feferi. I support her ideals. She’ll be a fine empress.”

“She’ll be a finer one with you by her side,” Eridan growled back, anger rising again.

“Eridan, I’m not going to die!” the irritation was back in Karkat’s voice.

“You were on the brink of death less than a week ago!” Eridan roared back, unable to keep his anger down.

“Okay, clam down, Eridan,” that was Feferi now, and he felt a tug on his arm as Sollux, of all the trolls, stood to try to get him to back off.

“No thanks to you!” there was fury on Karkat’s face now. “If you had let me go in the first place I won’t BE in this condition now, would I?”

Suddenly everything came to a halt. The only thing Eridan could here was liquid from his vascular system roaring in his ears and a very faint vindictive chuckle from Sollux.

He could see the regret flash on Karkat’s face. He pressed his still healing hand to his forehead briefly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, well,” Eridan glared. “It’s true, ain’t it?” He wrenched his arm out of Sollux’s grip. “I’m done,” he said abruptly, his voice low and angry, though mostly at himself. Karkat looked up at him again, resignation on his face and in his eyes. “I’ll go tomorrow and fight for you but leave me out of the rest of your fucking plans,” with that he turned heel and went to the entrance of the hive, scooping up his weapon as he did so. He took the ladder down to the ground as fast as he could, ignoring Karkat voice as the weaker troll called out after him.

.

His anger faded quickly into hollow regret. What was he even doing? He was such a fuck up, he hadn’t wanted to fight with Kar, he just wanted him to see it was stupid of him to go in and fight in his condition.

Shit… he had just dug his own grave. No one there much liked him except maybe Feferi for some reason he wasn’t quite sure of and Karkat, and he had just ignored one and screamed at the other…

He wondered if it were possible to feel any lower than he currently felt.

It was hours later when he heard someone walking towards him. He swam up through his mental anguish long enough to wonder who it was. He expected Sollux to be honest, there was a possibility they’d just send his exkismesis out after him to actually cull him now that they knew what they did about the palace. He didn’t want to die, but with the entire fight between Karkat and him, he didn’t think he had a matespit any longer either, to go with his lack of a kismesis.

He was so fucking miserable. And so fucking dead. “Just do it quickly,” he told the approaching footsteps, without even bothering to turn around. “I don’t even care anymore.”

“I could,” was the carefully considered reply. Eridan actually jumped a bit at the voice.

“Shit,” he swore. “It’s you. A fuckin’ course.”

“But I’m not going to,” she continued. He heard the rustle of skirts as Kanaya sat down beside him.

“I don’t see why not,” Eridan muttered. He craned his neck upwards, looking past her and her unnaturally glowing skin towards the treehouse. “Why the fuck isn’t Sol here, he should be the one to do it.”

She sighed. “No one is going to cull you, Eridan. You saved someone who is very important to everyone here.”

Eridan snorted. “I’m no hero,” he pointed out, mouth pressed into a firm line. “Sol filled you in, I’m sure,” he paused, then pressed on grimly. “I watched him get tortured for ages and I didn’t do a damn thing to stop it. They were pailin’ him too, it was disgustin’,” he didn’t miss her flinch at that. “Every day he just got worse and worse and I didn’t stop it until it was nearly too late…”

“Why did you?” her voice wasn’t judgmental, something that surprised him deeply. He thought she’d still be pissed over the game. It wasn’t like they had talked since. Why was she even trying to care? But she was looking at him like she honestly wanted to know…

Eridan laughed, the sound low and hollow. “Because I was fuckin’ flushed for him. There isn’t anything more pitiful than a dyin’ troll who can’t fucking defend himself, an’ he treated me with a tiny bit of kindness and I couldn’t… fuck,” his eyes were tearing. He pressed a hand to his face and looked away.

“We all care for him deeply,” Kanaya said softly. “You are the last in a very long line to realize it.”

Eridan shrugged. “Whatever,” he muttered, his accent thick. “Why are you even here?” he added bitterly. “If not to cull me for being the royal fuck up that I am?”

The corner of her mouth quirked up. “I am hungry,” she said finally. “I could use a meal before tomorrow’s battle, it will make me stronger.”

“Oh,” Eridan replied, his face flushing as he realized what she meant by that. He knew about her kind, they were mentioned in the history books… he knew what she needed.

“Only if you are willing of course,” she said quickly. “I would never presume…”

“No, ah… it’s fine,” he shifted and swallowed, feeling odd and a little out of his depth. They hadn’t talked in six sweeps, and biting seemed awfully intimate. It also completely derailed him out of his misery and self-loathing. “I… what do I do?” he asked, fingering his collar.

“Just… sit still,” she suggested kindly, a blush darkening her cheeks. He did so and she carefully reached out, perfectly manicured fingers pulling the fabric of his collar away from his neck. She studied his face for a moment, then leaned in, and Eridan bit his own lip as she pressed her mouth to his flesh. Moments later he felt was a small pin prick of pain and then nothing. Her shoulders were rising and falling and he realized she was drinking.

She didn’t drink long. She pulled away only a few seconds later, dabbing the corner of her mouth with a finger. “I do not wish to take very much,” she said in way of explanation. “You will need your strength tomorrow.”

Eridan touched his neck, feeling the blood against his fingertips. There wasn’t much. He raised an eyebrow. “I’m still in?” he asked.

Her smile brightened… then again her entire skin seemed to be glowing a little bit brighter. “More than that,” she replied. “We had a very long discussion. He will take your advice. You will be in the first assault with us. He will follow behind with Gamzee’s reinforcements. He will be protected as much he can possibly be.”

His fins sagged in relief at her words. “Glub,” he muttered, the word from his wigger days escaping his mouth despite himself.

She smiled kindly and got back to her feet. “We all need to get some rest. He’s waiting for you,” she added. “If you will come back?” She extended her hand.

Eridan stared at it, surprised, so long that she nearly took it back again. “He still wants me there?”

“Of course,” she said.

Eridan sighed and got up. He felt boorish. He left Karkat wrapped in his cape and left him in a huff… but at least it had worked. Karkat would be protected and that was all he wanted. “You’re auspicing on a flushed quadrant, aren’t you?” he asked suspiciously. “You’re still just as meddlin’ as you used to be.”

She laughed at that, hiding her mouth behind her hand as she did so. “Perhaps.”

.

She went up before him and he remained at the bottom of the ladder for a long moment, steeling himself. He had yelled at Karkat. He had been genuinely angry, so much so he had lost control of himself. Kar didn’t deserve that, no matter what. He drew in several deep breaths and slowly climbed the ladder.

It took his eyes a moment to get used to the dark inside the treehouse, what with the curtains drawn and the leaves on the tree blocking out most of the moonlight. He could see a shape move in the corner and knew instantly that it was Karkat. “Eridan,” he said, relief in his voice. “I almost thought you weren’t going to come.”

“Yeah, well,” Eridan replied. He could see him now… he was still wrapped up in Eridan’s cape. That made his stomach flip oddly and his cheeks burn. “I thought you were goin’ to be angry Kar.”

“For being worried about me?” he replied, sounding incredulous.

Eridan shrugged.

“Get over here,” Karkat’s voice was nearly a growl.

Eridan did as he said, approaching cautiously, and then more boldy as Karkat reached out for him.

“You won, asshole,” Karkat added as he tugged him down into the pile. “No one wants me to go in there now.”

“Good,” Eridan replied. He leaned over to kiss Karkat on the cheek, something that was intercepted and he suddenly found himself kissing him on the mouth. Karkat kissed him back hungrily. “Pity you,” he gasped softly as Karkat pulled away.

 Karkat let out an answering purr and kissed him again. “You’re not allowed to die,” he said suddenly, his voice a harsh whisper. “If you go in there you’re not allowed to let anyone touch you. You’re mine,” Eridan’s breath caught with the fierceness in his tone.

“Yeah, Kar, I am,” he replied and nuzzled his throat. Karkat wrapped himself around him, legs twining with his own and Eridan’s world stopped as he buried his face in the other trolls neck and just held him close.

So this was what it meant to have a matesprit, to feel utterly attached to another troll so much it hurt, just the thought of being separated from them. He never had this, never. Sure he had a fling when his first sweep off planet, just to fill a bucket to avoid being culled, but that had been nothing compared to how he felt now. This was so much more _real_. “I won’t die, I promise,” he mumbled.

He couldn’t promise, it was empty, they were going to try to take out the _Empress_. He shut his eyes against the pain that caused him and tightened his grip on Karkat. Please let tomorrow go well, he thought desperately. Please, please, please, _please_...

He couldn’t lose Karkat. He couldn’t. It’d destroy him. Of that he was suddenly very certain.

.


	6. Chapter 6

.

Eridan didn’t want the evening to come. He could barely sleep… dayterrors kept jerking him awake, only to see the light still streaming in from the closed windows. Karkat was restless himself. Finally Eridan had enough trying to sleep and carefully got up. He pressed a kiss to Karkat’s lips before slipping out and down the ladder.

It might have been dim season but the sun was still bright and he made sure to keep to the shadows to avoid being exposed for too long. He settled under a tree, Crosshairs beside him, and sighed, gazing up at the tree house where Karkat rested.

He wondered what had been said the day before. Kanaya should still be angry as hell at him for blowing a hole in her back when he was six, and she had come and helped him out. Granted, she wanted something, but even so that wasn’t exactly much of a trade off for being civil.

It was because he was outside that he heard the rustle of bushes that sounding like someone was walking towards the treehouse. Eridan was instantly on alert, getting to his feet, weapon in hand.

Seconds later Sollux walked out of the bushes, he’d recognize those bi-colored eyes anywhere. He looked up and peeled his hood back, staring at Eridan blankly.

Eridan dropped the muzzle of his weapon and let out a small sigh of relief. He couldn’t say he was happy to see Sollux but at least he wasn’t another adult troll ready to cull them all for being on the planet. “What the hell are you doing out in the daylight?” he demanded to know.

Sollux snorted and took off his cloak the rest of the way, tossing it over a low hanging branch. “I could say the same for you.”

“Fuckin’ impossible to sleep, that’s what,” Eridan retorted. “Seeing how we’re probably goin’ to die today.”

“You should be up there pailing your matesprit,” Sollux returned, the corner of his mouth curved into a cruel line. “If you’re so sure we’re not gonna make it.”

Eridan glared. “In case you haven’t noticed, he’s still having trouble walkin’. I’m not pailin’ anybody who can’t even fuckin’ walk.”

“Funny how that matters to you now, it never seemed to before.”

Eridan felt his hands curl into fists, but he didn’t raise his weapon either. “Stop it,” he hissed. “I’m not interested in your black solicitations or antagonizin’. Leave me alone.”

For a moment he thought Sollux was going to lash out, get angry, but then he seemed to relax, sighing and taking a half step back. “Here,” he said finally, fishing into one of his pant pockets and tossing something small in Eridan’s direction. Eridan caught it by reflex. He turned it over in his hand, curious. It was a yellow liquid in a small clear glass jar.

“What?” he began.

“Mind honey,” Sollux replied. “If everything goes to hell, I’m the ultimate solution,” he held out his hand and Eridan cautiously handed it back.

“What?” he repeated again, both of his eyebrows raising at that.

Sollux sighed and rubbed at one of his bigger horns… it was something Eridan had seen him do often enough when he was stressed. “I’ve got a lot more control now than I used to, and I’m stronger than I used to be, but I’m not that strong. A little bit of this and suddenly the palace becomes ground zero.”

Eridan went white. “Who knows this?” he asked.

Sollux shrugged. “Just the people here,” he made a hand motion to the treehouse. “Aradia too. KK and I planned this a long time ago ED,” he added with a faint air of finality. “I wasn’t go tell you but,” he made a face. “Guess it’s only fair. Especially with KK out of the game.”

Eridan swallowed, his eyes narrowing. He had no idea this was on the cards. Suicide? Even for the cause, that seemed drastic. “What’s the plan then?” he asked.

Sollux relaxed a bit more, rolling the honey around in his hand. “To take her out with whatever means possible,” he replied finally. “If FF fails again…”

“Again?” Eridan repeated. “So she did challenge her? It wasn’t a complete lie?”

Sollux frowned. “She did challenge her – KK just forgot to mention she tried to talk to her, not fight her. Her Imperial wretchedness blew her through the atmosphere and right back down onto Alternia. It was a miracle she survived the fall… she did wind up on the ocean floor by the way. We all kind of forgot she has two sets of lungs and the ones most important to that water breathing thing were undamaged.”

Eridan drew in a deep breath and blew it out again. This was bringing back somewhat unwelcome memories… of the reports coming through of a young troll challenging the Condense and failing, of running into Sol in the streets of Alternia while stumbling home intoxicated that night. Of the fist fight and biting and sex and… he looked away again, focusing on the ground by the bottom rung of the treehouse ladder.

“Hey,” Sollux said finally, and Eridan looked up again. “It’s only as a last resort,” he said finally. “It’s only if FF doesn’t succeed. We need this ED. The witch is going to die tonight, no matter what happens. We have enough people to pick up the pieces, even if we lose KK. Even if we lose me, or FF, or any of us. We’re expendable in this, we all knew that.”

“Everyone knew except me,” Eridan replied, and there was old bitterness in his voice. “Kar said there wouldn’t be many casualties,” he added, his voice accusing.

“That’s because he’s protecting you because he cares about you and needs your back. KK didn’t become a leader of a rebellion by being a wonderful person all of the time. His hands are just as dirty as the rest of ours are. The difference is he believes in his cause with all his heart and he’ll fight to save as many of us as he can. That’s why this,” he held up the mind honey clenched in his fist. “Is our last resort.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Eridan said finally, feeling infinitely tired. He didn’t want anyone to die, but they seemed so _dead_ set on it…

Sollux dropped the vial into his pocket and stepped towards him. Eridan flinched back as he reached for his face and Sollux stopped cold, then dropped his hand with a sigh. “I want you to know you can leave,” he said finally. “KK and I discussed this last night while you were busy sulking. Listen carefully because this might be the only time I ever do anything nice for you. You can go. You’re free, Eridan, you can fuck off any time you want.”

“I’m not leaving him,” Eridan’s reply was said with quiet conviction.

“I know you think you’re obligated to be here, but you’re not. KK doesn’t work that way. He’s given you complete immunity, from me, from him, from ANYONE. No one will come after you…”

“I HAVE. NOTHING. LEFT,” the words forced themselves out of his throat, hissed with pain and everything he felt for the last week.

Sollux actually looked kind of surprised at the venom in his words.

“Look at me!” Eridan snapped. “LOOK,” he made a hand gesture to his chest, to his colors blazoned across it. “Do you think I have power? Prestige? Did you EVER?” he tossed down the Crosshairs. “I’m NOTHING to the empress but a slave, my blood means nothing up there and it meant nothing down here. I have… I HAD a pissblooded finless _spineless_ kismesis who I’m not sure ever even wanted to pail me in the first place and the one TINY SHINING MOMENT in my life where I found a little bit of happiness and it cost me EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING I’ve EVER been died the moment I walked Kar out of that cell. And you think I’m just going to walk away and leave him now? You think I can?!”

“Oh god, _shut up_ ,” Sollux groaned. He grabbed Eridan by the neck and slammed him up against a tree and kissed him soundly.

Eridan spat and struggled and finally threw him off. He fell to the ground and glared up at Sollux, who looked fairly shocked himself. He was gasping for breath and then grinned, double fangs glinting in the mid-afternoon light.

Eridan felt it, of course he did, the singing joy of being alive, of the thrill of battle, of wanting the other troll, but not in the same way he wanted Karkat, like how he wanted to rip his clothes off and throw him into the dirt and ride him until he was…

He felt the thrill drain out of him as quickly as it had come, turning into an empty hollow feeling as he remembered everything Sollux had put him through for nearly half a sweep. The memories were too fresh, the pain too raw. Especially after finding something that felt good… “I don’t want this,” he said finally, looking away from Sollux. “I want him.”

Sollux rolled his eyes, going from interested to not in half a second. “God, you’re pathetic,” he groaned.

“Don’t tell me your flippin’ Sol,” Eridan returned with a faint grin of his own.

“Yeah you wish, fish breath,” Sollux snarked back, but there was no heat in his words. He picked Eridan up with a soft crackle of power, which startled the seadweller. The touch was gentle, unlike the last however many times Sollux decided to push him around with his freaky abilities. He was even more startled when Sollux folded his arms across his chest and psionically pushed Eridan towards the treehouse. “If you want him, go get him. You have like five hours left before we leave. Make the most of it,” he added.

“I can’t,” Eridan protested. “He’s…”

Sollux lip curled up. “He’s not made of glass, idiot, he’s not going to break. He’d probably appreciate a budge up his nook that doesn’t belong to some nasty prison guard. Oh, WAIT, I forgot that was you too, ehehehe.”

“You’re disgusting,” Eridan retorted, flushing to the gills. “I’m not going to…”

“Ask him what he wants? No, why would you even do that?” more eyerolling.

“Fuck, fine, I get it,” Eridan gave Sollux one last long look before heading for the ladder. “Wait, you coming up?” he asked.

Sollux shook his head. “Programming the transport,” he replied, thrusting his thumb in the direction of it. “No more sleep for me today.”

“Okay,” Eridan said. “Okay,” he repeated more softly as Sollux turned and walked away.

.

Karkat was awake when he got up there, still drowsy with sleep. “Where were you?” he mumbled.

“Havin’ a fight with Sollux,” Eridan replied honestly as he approached the pile.

That woke up Karkat instantly.

“No, no, it wasn’t that bad,” Eridan reassured him. He leveled a glare. “He told me about your stupid final solution idea.”

For the first time since the cell he saw something close to fear on Karkat’s face. It faded within seconds, to be replaced with wariness. “And?”

Eridan moved his head to the side. “And, what?” he replied. “Does it matter what I think? You’re goin’ to do whatever you want anyway. We’re not together any more, why do I care if he dies?”

Karkat tensed, his blood red eyes studying him intently. “He’ll only use it if Feferi fails,” he said finally. “And we intend to make sure she doesn’t fail.”

“I get that,” Eridan replied. “I do…” he felt a gross churning in his gut. If Karkat hadn’t been caught, did that mean one day Sol would have just disappeared? He’d have had no idea. One day he’d wake up completely alone with a hole in the ground where his former work was… if he wasn’t in the palace at the time… would they have just shot him if he was? He was their enemy, after all…

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” Karkat said, his voice soft and soothing. He struggled and sat up completely, reaching out and touching his cheek gently. Eridan closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. “We won’t have to use it, I know between the five of you you’ll be able to bring her down before Sollux will even have to consider the alternatives. He is literally a last resort.”

Eridan opened his eyes again. “He’s your best friend,” he said quietly.

“That’s why I trust him with this,” Karkat said solemnly.

“You’re crazy,” the realization hit like a blow to the head. He knew it already, of course he did, but it was so much clearer now. “You’re completely fucking insane. Both of you are.”

A smile twitched at the corner of Karkat’s mouth. “Probably. Revolution isn’t brought about by sane people.” The smile faded and the solemn expression returned. “We believe in what we’re doing,” he said quietly. “We all do. My question is, do you? Because if you don’t…”

“Stop it,” Eridan made a cutting gesture with his hand. “Both of you, just stop it. You sound the same, it’s creepy as fuck,” he swallowed past the lump in his throat and shuddered as the full weight of everything he had just heard set in. How he to know this was going to happen? He wondered, very briefly, what he would have done if he knew everything he did now back when Karkat was in that cell. This must have been the information they were torturing him for. This wasn’t just a coup, it wasn’t _just_ a play for the throne, it was a guerrilla assault with the intention of completely destroying their current system. He could feel a cold sweat break out on his brow at the mere thought. This was terrifying. He had played at war before, but never imagined he’d one day be involved on the wrong side of a war that could completely collapse the empire from the inside. He hoped that Karkat had enough followers to pick up the pieces, especially if they had to use the so-called final solution. He knew they had talked about it, Gamzee and his Capricorn friends, Terezi and the law… he swallowed and coughed.

“Eridan…” Karkat trailed off. His eyes were guarded again as he looked at him.

“Is there anything else you’re keeping from me?” Eridan said slowly, carefully. “I know I don’t got much of a right to ask, but I need to know Kar. What else is there?”

Karkat frowned. “I don’t think there is anything else,” he said finally. “If Sollux told you that,” he managed a wry chuckle. “That’s the worst… I don’t think there could be much worse than telling you your former kismesis plans to blow himself up if he has to. Is there?”

Eridan studied him for a long moment, then dropped his gaze. Karkat was right, that was about as worse as it got. “I’m not going away,” he said after a long moment. “Not now, and not later.”

Karkat’s brow knit. “You know you can…”

“Stop it,” Eridan hissed. “Stop trying to send me off,” he held up his hands, focusing on the stupid rings he had put on the day before. Dressing up seemed so stupid in retrospect. He began to pick them off one by one and place them on the edge of the pile. “I have nothing left,” he said, when he was done, feeling the raw truth of the words. He held up his bare hands. “Since I’m still alive I may as well throw my lot in with the only trolls who even gave a passing shit about my existence.”

Karkat’s face twisted. “I more than just give a passing shit about you,” he said fervently. He snatched at his hands, holding them in his own, curving the bandaged fingers around his bare ones. “You stupid ass.”

Eridan pulled his hands away gently, knitting them together in his lap. “I appreciate it, Kar, I really do.”

Karkat shook his head in a sharp negative. “If I could keep you from going in there, I would,” he said frankly. “Why do you think I wanted to go in WITH you? With Sollux? You _took_ that from me.”

“Because I’m right,” Eridan replied, and felt something ease in his chest at that. “You can’t fight. I’ll watch out for Sol. Don’t worry about that asshole. We’ll get her, Kar, I promise.”

Karkat’s face twisted. “If there was any other way…” and there it was, the regret he wanted to see. Karkat turned, looking away, shoulders hunching in on himself.

“I know. I know you’d save us all if you could,” he leaned forward and kissed Karkat cautiously on the cheek, then paused, rubbing the tip of his nose against his skin reassuringly. Karkat relaxed by degrees. Eridan nuzzled his cheek briefly a bit longer, then kissed a line up to his ear. “Pity you,” he whispered.

.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally a chapter long sex scene, whoops.

.

Eridan kissed and nuzzled at his matesprit, wondering if he was going to react or if the weight of everything that had been said had nixed his chances with him.

Just when he thought he wasn’t going to get anything out of him, Karkat let out a soft sigh and turned his head, kissing him back. Eridan stilled for a long moment, then nipped at his mouth, lowering his head to trail his lips down to his throat. He sucked at the skin there, letting his sharp teeth press against his skin for a fleeting second before letting off the pressure. Karkat let out a soft gasp. He brought his head up and raised an eyebrow. “You like that?”

Karkat let out a purring growl and kissed him, hard. Eridan let him take control and push him back. He laid down on his cape, letting Karkat crawl on top of him, purring increasing as he continued to bite at kiss at Eridan.

Eridan allowed himself to explore and trailed his hands down, pressing them against Karkat’s too warm flesh in the slit between his pants and shirt… he was still in Eridan’s old clothes. No one managed to bring him any other clothes yet, not that Eridan minded. “You look real good in my colors,” he said, smirking and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Karkat let out a groan, thudding his head against Eridan’s shoulder. “Just when I think you’re the most attractive thing on the face of the planet you go and do something like that. Do you have something against me finding you attractive, Eridan?” he complained.

Eridan chuckled. He looped a hand behind Karkat’s back and flipped them with practiced ease, pushing him back in the pile. He paused as Karkat looked up at him with a slightly surprised expression on his face. “If you want me to stop…” he began, suddenly uncertain.

Karkat went from looking surprised to grinning madly. He reared up and, best as he could, slung one of his legs over Eridan’s back. “I’ve wanted you for weeks, asshole. Get going already.”

Well then. “Got to say it’s kinda nice to be wanted, Kar,” Eridan returned warmly, then resumed his hand roving. He coasted a line up his stomach, feeling the skin shift under his fingers. He still looked gaunt, but the few days of being fed was helping. There seemed to be a fine layer of fat developing to make up for the utter lack a week before. He leaned down and kissed at the skin there, felt it flick under his lips, pressed down and licked to make the flicker happen again. Karkat groaned, his fingers knotting in his hair.

“Shh,” Eridan said softly as he pulled away. There were three other trolls sleeping somewhere in the hive.

“Don’t shh me,” Karkat gasped. “I think I heard Kanaya and Nepeta going at it earlier anyway.”

Eridan raised his head the entire way, eyes wide. “Wait, what?”

Karkat tugged on his fin, making him wince. Karkat instantly petted the fin in apology when he saw the expression on Eridan’s face. “Sorry… I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s’okay,” Eridan replied. It really was, the pain fading already.

Karkat’s cheeks darkened. The awkwardness passed as Karkat cleared his throat. “… You were in the middle of something?” he said, his voice far too hopeful.

“Right, yeah,” Eridan shook his head to clear the remains of mental images of the two lady trolls pailing each other out of his head. Instead he went back to work on the deliciously exposed grey skin of Karkat’s scarred belly, tugging at the loose waistline of his pants as he did so. That got another groan from Karkat. He grinned and pulled the pants down far enough that he was exposing the other troll to the cool air. He darted a glance up at Karkat’s face to make sure he was still welcome, only to see Karkat was propped up on his elbows and panting slightly, his eyes half lidded. He mentally shrugged and went for it.

He knew what to do, he had done this to Sollux on occasion when their fighting wasn’t so bad that the yellow-blooded troll specifically pushed him away, probably because he was afraid of teeth being so close to his intimate parts. Karkat had no such fear and he felt more than saw Karkat shift so that he was laying down, and the injured hand pressed to his hair. He darted his tongue out, tasting the thin line of Karkat’s nook, right below the bulge that had already started show more than a bit of interest. He hadn’t seen that in his entire time of taking care of Karkat in the cell. He licked a line up the nook, tasting the sharp almost spicy tang of the troll himself before coasting along to kiss and lick along his budge.

Karkat softly gasped as Eridan took the tip into his mouth, folding his lips over his teeth carefully as to not accidentally nick. At the same time he brought a finger up to Karkat’s nook, feeling around the outside before cautiously it sinking inside. That slid in entirely too easily, and he added another.

He was allowed to do that for almost no time at all before Karkat gripped his horn and tugged. “In,” he ground out. “In, in, I need you…”

“Just gimme a moment…” Eridan tried, raising his head slightly so he could speak. Karkat growled and shifted so that his bulge caught him in the chin. “Wow, rude,” he added, but there was no anger to his voice. If anything it was amusing how eager Karkat was, and would be more amusing if he hadn’t walked in on him being forcibly pailed only one short week ago.

“Eridan… please. I want something _other_ than your fingers in me.”

“You’re not very patient, are you?” Eridan griped, reaching down and pinning his hip with his free hand.

Karkat at least had the decency to flush as Eridan cautiously withdrew his fingers. He sighed, then smirked, shucking off his shirt in short order and following with his pants, pulling those off the entire way. He climbed back up so that he was above the other troll, supported on his hands and knees. “Are you sure?” he asked finally, violet eyes searching Karkat’s.

Karkat’s growl was much louder this time. “Yes. _Fuck,”_ he swore. “Take me already,” he tried to rear up, but wasn’t able to get much off the ground. “Damn it, Eridan, stop being difficult!”

Fine, fine, calm down,” Eridan chastised, stifling a laugh. “I’m doing it, see?” he drew a deep breath and reached down between their bodies. Karkat spread his legs invitingly and Eridan froze.

That brought back a memory he’d really rather forget.

Karkat froze himself, seeming to realize there was something wrong. “What is it?”

“I just…” Eridan looked away, trying to focus on anything else. “Just memories,” he said quickly. “I can’t…”

Karkat reached up, taking the side of his face again in hand. He got what he was doing when he raised his face and kissed him gently. Oh, that was better that…

He could turn off his brain and just enjoy him, the sweet taste of him, licking at his lips. A hand fell to his hip and Eridan lowered himself down, pausing to support himself on one elbow as he fumbled a hand between them. He paused and finally was able to find what he was looking for. He slipped inside with ease.

He jerked his head up and watched his face apprehensively, expecting to see pain there. Instead Karkat’s eyes slid shut and he bit his bottom lip with an expression that was definitely not pain. “Yes,” the injured troll panted. “Yes, _god_ yes,” the working fingers dug into Eridan’s back. Eridan flushed brightly, a little stunned despite himself.

He started moving as carefully as he could, nosing the smaller troll’s cheek, then coming back around and kissing him again. Karkat sucked at his tongue greedily, pleading noises coming from his throat as Eridan began to thrust. It amazed him. He had never seen the troll so _alive_ before, Karkat was trying to move against him as best as he could, his own arousal trapped between them both.

He got an annoyed sound after a few minutes of slow careful fucking and blunt lowblood teeth clamped down on his tongue in protest. “Faster, Eridan, fuck,” was the hiss when he let go of his tongue. “I’m _obviously_ not going to fucking break.”

Eridan gave him an annoyed look. “Maybe you wouldn’t be saying that if you were the one stuck with puttin’ you back together.”

He got a low growl almost worthy of kismesissitude from the troll beneath him, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Karkat just wanted him to hurry the fuck up he might have taken it as such. Now he just laughed again, a quick and delighted sound, happily surprised at the show of spirit. Pailing him when he was completely healthy again – if he still let him of course – if they both survived that night – was going to be a real treat. Right now however, he did as requested and hurried it up.

It took embarrassing little time at all for him to reach the point where he realized that they absolutely did not have a bucket or anything else in which to store genetic material. Luckily it had been less than a week since he had last filled a bucket, so he definitely did not have much to give. Even so he had no idea if Karkat could even hold his genetic fluid at all, no matter the quantity. Back in the cell seemed to indicate he couldn’t, though that might have been the other guards forcing him to let it all go even if he tried to hold it.

But just in case he couldn’t, he didn’t want to embarrass him. He tried to pull away from the weakened troll right before he came, which just got another protesting noise and Karkat clamped onto his bottom lip with his teeth, refusing to let him go.

“Kar, I don’t have a bucket,” he managed to get out when the other troll released his lip.

“Don’t _care_ ,” was the panted reply. He kicked out with one of his legs and Eridan sighed, giving in. He supposed he’d just clean them both again if Karkat couldn’t hold it. He lifted the trolls hips slightly and started pounding into him. He let out a long low keening whine as he came, trying to be as absolutely quiet as possible.

He panted as he leaned over the other troll when he was done, letting him go to brace himself on either side of his body with his hands. There was a contented look on Karkat’s face and as he looked down he could see that nothing had released. He was holding it, quite well actually. He was also still very hard.

Eridan smiled, reaching up to touch the side of his face before he brought that hand between his legs. A little bit of maneuvering and he was able to position himself above the other troll. Karkat slid up inside of him with relative ease, at least until Eridan froze and let out a sharp hiss.

He forgot. His encounter with Sollux a week before… it had left HIM more than a little damaged, including his nook. He could see the concerned look on Karkat’s face and smiled despite the pain. “It’s okay,” he said and slid down the rest of the way. It was true, the pain was far less than some of the things he had experienced. Karkat didn’t look too terribly convinced.

“Stop, if it’s hurting you…” Karkat started, trying to struggle up, his brow knit with worry.

Eridan placed a hand in the center of his chest and pressed him down again.

“I told you, it’s fine,” Eridan said, and to demonstrate he brought himself up and then dropped.

He pushed the pain aside as he proceeded to ride him as quickly as he could, doing the work that Karkat couldn’t do for himself. It took suspiciously little time for the other troll to come as well, and he kept coming. Eridan’s eyes widened slightly as the fluid filled him to brimming, and then a shade past full and bordering on uncomfortable. He held it all in, with effort, but he could tell it had been a very long time since he had last…

“When was the last time you did this?” he asked as the other troll finally finished and slid back out of him.

Karkat at least had the decency to look embarrassed as he focused his gaze elsewhere. “A sweep or so ago,” he muttered.

“Fuck,” Eridan replied succinctly. The Imperial Drones came around every sweep, which meant Karkat had literally only pailed someone in order to avoid a death sentence. There was a possibility he didn’t have anyone in either quadrant and instead went the less desirable route and hooked up with someone for that purpose. Hell, he had done almost exactly the same thing.

Then again, hiding his vibrant red eyes would be a bit hard… it would have had to be a friend. Maybe even Sol, his kismesis didn’t have a matesprit either after Feferi - and he sometimes wished he would go find another troll to go play with as it would take some of the pressure off of him.

He didn’t press it however, or ask, just got off of Karkat with a low groan. He laid beside him, on his back, his hand on his slightly swollen abdomen. Ideally they’d both have their own containers to release into, but this wasn’t an ideal situation by far. “I don’t think Terezi has any buckets lying around either,” he said finally.

“No,” Karkat agreed solemnly.

Eridan started giggling, which unfortunately put pressure on his abdomen. He stopped and rolled up, gingerly getting to his feet. “Bathroom?” he offered.

Karkat nodded. Eridan picked him up and holy hell was he ever having trouble holding it in now. He groaned again as he stumbled across the floor. He could feel it start to trickle out, painting the inside of his thighs. He needed to get into the bathroom yesterday. If the girls saw Kar’s genetic fluid on the floor he was going to die of embarrassment.

As soon as he was in the bathroom he released all he held with a sigh of relief. He didn’t even care if Karkat was standing there. “Your turn,” he said with a slight grin as he stood. He began running the shower.

Karkat joined him in the shower after a few minutes. He let out a soft growl of welcome and nuzzled Karkat’s throat. The smaller troll gave him a contented look in return and grabbed at the soap. He had taken the bandages off of his fingers and Eridan inspected them. They looked almost normal now. He pressed a couple kisses to each one in turn. Karkat chirped.

Eridan pulled away to study him for a moment, then leaned in slowly to kiss him again. That turned into something far more enthusiastic than he expected. When he finally managed to pull away, Karkat nearly looked ready for a second round. He also looked like he was about to fall over and Eridan decided that getting him back to the pile was a better idea.

He rinsed himself off as well as Karkat, then ushered him out of the tub. He patted Karkat dry. They were both as naked as the day they were hatched, and he swiped the shirt Karkat wore out of the crumpled heap it was in, in the corner of the bathroom, and pulled it back on him. “We should try for more sleep,” he suggested. “Even a couple hours would be good, you look about to fall over.”

“Am not,” Karkat muttered, but he was lying, Eridan could tell.

“Right, pile, oh illustrious leader that you are,” Eridan replied. “You have a war to fight, remember?” He gathered Karkat up and carried him back out to the main area, dropping him gently into the pile once he got there. “Try to get some sleep,” he chided. “It’ll be a long night tonight.”

Karkat yawned and stretched it occurred to Eridan he hadn’t seen Karkat this relaxed in… perhaps ever. “Stay with me,” Karkat said finally, and his eyes were half pleading, half demanding. “You keep wandering off.”

“It’s kinda hard to sleep with all this mindfuckery you got going on, Kar,” Eridan replied honestly. Even so, he was in the middle of pulling his own clothes back on and paused to help Karkat into his own pants. “Yeah, I’ll stay,” he added.

The smile he got from Karkat was brilliant.

.


	8. Chapter 8

 

Karkat slept, fitfully, Eridan did not. Instead he kept watch, focusing on Karkat’s breathing, soothing his day terrors away when they happened with soft shooshes. It was pale, but he didn’t care. He didn’t have a moirail either, and as far as he knew Karkat’s diamond was empty. Perhaps Sollux..? Either way, he never said. He figured being on the brink of an attack that could leave either of them dead allowed him to indulge in certain indiscretions.

As twilight fell, the treehouse came alive again. Feferi emerged first, coming into the main room and giving him a sad sort of look. “Tonight’s the night,” she said softly. “I wish I didn’t have to…” she trailed off and fidgeted, her eyes focusing elsewhere.

 Karkat stirred, even as Eridan sat up. “You don’t have to, do you?” he asked. “I mean, specifically, does it have to be you? Or can any of us…?” he was thinking of his Crosshairs. It was a long range weapon, but if he had a clear enough shot, he could probably help out…

She shook her head, which made her long braid sway against her back. “I need to be the one to do it. It’s my birthright. The people will accept me as the heiress completely if I am the one to deliver the final blow. It makes everything easier.”

Eridan blinked. He hadn’t considered that before. “Well, then,” he said finally, grimly. “I guess we better make sure you can do that.”

She laughed, but it was a strained sound. “Yes,” she agreed. Her face fell and she padded into the kitchen, searching for food. Eridan watched her go with a worried expression on his face, then started to get up to go after her. He still cared about her, and seeing her upset made him want to comfort her somehow.

Karkat caught his sleeve before he could get up all the way.

“Let her be alone for a while,” he suggested in a low enough voice so that only Eridan could hear. He wasn’t even aware Karkat could whisper, would wonders never cease. “She has more responsibility on her shoulders than the rest of us combined.”

“I think I know that, Kar,” Eridan returned, mildly miffed that he had to be told as much. He sighed and relaxed instantly. Getting uptight wasn’t going to help anyone.

Luckily Nepeta and Kanaya emerged from the backrooms seconds later, distracting him from both Karkat and Feferi. He looked them over shrewdly. Kanaya looked like she didn’t have a hair out of place, as usual, but Nepeta looked even more like she had rolled through a scrounge beast’s nest. She was also grinning maniacally. Eridan decided abruptly that he didn’t want to know. Instead he got to his feet, pausing to give Karkat a discrete kiss on the cheek, and went over to the entrance. Nepeta took that as her cue to give Karkat a huge hug, and Eridan smirked at the ‘help me’ look Karkat shot him over her shoulder.

He picked up the canteen. I’ll be right back, he mouthed. With that he let himself out.

He got water as fast as he was able, pausing on his way back to glance at the ship. Lights were on inside. He hesitated, then decided against checking in on Sollux. He knew the moods he got into when he was programming and despite their amiable chat the day before he didn’t think he’d want the company. He sighed and headed back to the treehouse.

.

They were all fed and piled into the transport an hour later. Everyone was tense as Nepeta maneuvered them out. Sol had his husktop in hand, going over the last minute details of the plan. There wasn’t much to discuss, really. The feeling of impending doom hung heavy over them all. Karkat was tense, and still by his side… he hadn’t left it since Eridan had come back with water. Sollux hadn’t said a word, but his fingers never stilled on the husktop. Eridan hadn’t realized Nepeta was a pilot, but she was doing a fine job of piloting the craft. Eridan watched the viewscreen intensely. The moon city came into sight, and there it was, the shining palace, rising out of the center of the city, gorgeous to look at and utterly formable.

As Eridan watched the lights in several buildings actually flickered and some of them went out completely.

“Grid is down,” Sollux said suddenly. “NP, set us down along the side where we discussed. GZ is there KK, waiting for you. Don’t you dare let yourself get killed, got it?”

Suddenly it was all so much more real.

“You too,” was Karkat’s brisk reply. Eridan felt Karkat’s hand tighten in his own. “Don’t you dare die, asshole,” he said in a low voice as the ship banked.

Eridan gently squeezed his hand back. “I’ll do my best.”

“Never thought you’d be the one by my side for this,” Karkat continued. “I’m glad you are though.”

All Eridan could do was smile, though he was sure it came out as more of a cringe than anything. He dared lean down and kiss Karkat on the top of one of his small horns, and then the ship lurched, throwing them both apart from each other. Eridan found himself pressed up against the viewscreen. Several metal objects floated into view and he realized they were in the shape of trolls. “Bots?” he questioned.

“Equius’ support!” Nepeta said happily. The ship landed with a bounce and a grind and came to a halt. He could hear commotion outside of the craft, and suddenly it was then that his blood pusher decided to get stuck in his throat. The hatch opened and he was instantly confronted with a half a dozen strong looking bots. And Gamzee. Shit, the highblood had gotten huge in his adult life. He hulked over Karkat and looked nearly twice his size as he gathered him into a huge hug. Karkat made a small noise of protest.

“Careful, he’s still healin’,” Eridan spoke up, and Gamzee instantly let Karkat go.

“We’ve got to move,” Sollux reminded them both sharply.

“Got it, boss,” Gamzee replied with an easy smile. He retreated, taking Karkat with him, and that was the last Eridan saw of their leader, a wary glance over his shoulder and a nod to proceed.

He followed Sollux, Nepeta, Kanaya and Feferi down the plank as well, his Crosshairs at ready. “Give me a moment,” Sollux said, then tossed the husktop down. He fried it with a flare of his power, startling Eridan. A moment later he felt power wrap around him and then they were flying, flanked on all sides by half a dozen tough looking bots.

They landed on the roof. He could hear shouting down below, but not near enough to be a worry of being shot. “There,” he said, pointing a few feet to their left. It was the skylight down into the palace, and miracles of miracles, it was open. Only glass stood between them and the palace below.

“Get us in,” Nepeta said, and until that moment Eridan didn’t realize she was the one in control of the bots. It made sense, however, and the big one to his right stomped forward. It drew back it’s fist and struck, then did that again and again until the glass shattered.

“Disable the guards!” Nepeta called out, and the bot nodded before dropping down into the hole it created. The five others followed the lead and dropped down as well. They could hear shouting and weapons fire from where they stood on the roof.

“Are we ready?” Nepeta asked, turning to look at them all in turn. Eridan nodded. Sollux did as well, and he heard the roar of a chainsaw start beside him (reflective memory made him nearly jump out of his skin.) Feferi looked solemn but determined, trident clenched in her fist. Nepeta drew out her claws. “Sollux, do it!”

“Don’t haveta tell me twice NP,” Sollux raised a hand, flashing red and blue as they all lifted up and moved towards the hole. “I’ll drop you as soon as we’re close enough to the ground,” he shouted over the din.

That happened sooner than he thought it would. Eridan went down, falling the last ten feet or so and rolled. The room was in complete chaos. The bots had killed at least two of the guards, and the doors to the throne room were just opening. “More incoming!” he shouted and ducked behind a pillar. He raised the Crosshairs, ready to take a shot. He got another guard before he had to move again.

Kanaya was already going into the main throne room, chainsaw blazing, Feferi hot on her heals. Eridan felt the hum of electricity going past his face as Sollux shot down another guard. He charged into the throne room after the others, shoulders hunched, and instantly took shelter behind a pillar.

There were more guards here than he expected. He was hidden for only a second when a shot hit the stone inches from his face. Eridan cursed and rolled away.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Feferi approach the Condecse. The current Empress was just as large and terrible as he remembered… and furious, eyes narrowed as lips curved into a snarl as she glared down at Feferi. Fef might have been a full grown troll but she was still tiny compared to the Empress. Her massive amounts of hair moved as if it had a mind of it’s own, flaring out behind her as she stepped forward, impervious to the fighting going on around her.

Eridan had to look away again as a series of shots rang out and one missed him by a hair. He ducked behind another pillar and charged the Crosshairs.

One shot, he had one shot. He made it count, catching a guard on the second level, who let out a scream as he fell. The guard’s scream masked another one, one that made his blood run chill.

“Fef!” he screamed, and charged blindly. He could see before he reached her that the Condesce had Feferi trapped on the edge of her trident. It looked like Feferi had dodged at the last second but at least one of the tines had her in the arm, piercing it through. He swore and dodged a bot that decided to go flying past into another guard behind him, raising his Crosshairs again. Their little plan to have Feferi deliver the final blow be damned. He was going to shoot the Condesce and free his friend and…

He never got the chance. Black hair came up and slapped his hands away from his weapon, causing the shot to go wide. The Condesce turned, snarling, as more hair wrapped around his ankles, pulling him close.

Eridan cursed and struggled, grappling with the hair that now had him caught.

She drew herself upright, eyebrows raising as she looked down at him.

“Ew,” she said, her lip curling as she stared at him. “Damn, you look jus’ like a troll I once knew,” she continued. Eridan hissed at her and struggled harder. He could see his weapon, it had been knocked from his hands but it wasn’t that far away. If he could just get to it…

“Dun think so, guppy,” she continued. She drew her trident out of Feferi’s arm, making the young heiress scream again, and twirled it around once before bringing it down, driving it through Eridan’s chest.

Time stood still. He was aware of the fact that he was screaming, that his chest was on fire and the trident was driven through him completely because she was now lifting him up, impaled as he was on two of the three prongs. She made a face like he was disgusting and shook the trident. He flew off of it, flying backwards, towards a pillar.

He never hit. He felt the crackle of psionic power around him, slowing him down, setting him down, not carefully, but a lot nicer if he had just hit the wall. He clenched his chest and doubled up as he tried to regain his footing and failed, falling backward. His eyes blurred as he stared up at Sollux.

He could hear Feferi shouting his name.

Bicolored eyes stared down at him as the yellow-blooded troll flew to his side, leaning over his crumbled body. A hand fell to his throat just as Eridan coughed. He could feel the blood trickling from his lips. He was done for, there was no way he was going to survive this, not with two holes in his chest. He could see his doom reflected in Sollux’s eyes. He heard another scream, this time of rage, and turned his head, just as Sollux did the same.

They were circling each other. Feferi was holding her trident in her good hand, the other useless by her side. Her Imperious Condescension was trying to lunge forward to stab her, but Fef kept dodging… it was only a matter of time before she landed a hit…

He saw the movement at Sollux’s side, his hand going towards his pocket that contained the mind honey and Eridan reached out. He grabbed Sollux’s arm with shaking fingers and the remains of his strength. “Don’t you dare,” he gurgled. “Don’t. She’s still alive, she’s still…” he was fading, and it was a struggle to remain conscious.

Sollux’s teeth clenched. “Fuck!” he swore. He dropped to his knees, eyes still trained on the fight, his hand to the side of Eridan’s face.

It was then that Eridan could feel it, the psionics that surrounded him were _inside_ of him, applying pressure and making it hurt less, filling the holes. He drew in a breath, realizing it suddenly wasn’t so hard to breathe. He didn’t have much time to think about it, eyes focused on the two fighting empresses. Strangely enough, right when she was about to strike it looked like the Condesce stumbled backward instead.

He couldn’t tell, but it looked like something had her by the hair…?

“Who…?” Eridan asked, trying to focus and failing.

“AA!” Sollux let out a sudden bark of laughter from above him. “It’s her damn spirits! Now FF!” he cried out over the din.

Eridan didn’t even have time to question Sollux on what the hell he was talking about, it happened so fast. Feferi lunged forward at Sollux’s words, faster than Eridan expected her to be able to move, and now it was the Condesce that was impaled.

Feferi’s trident made a perfect line of three down her chest. The Condesce screamed and lunged forwards, dropping her own trident as she did so, and it was then that Sollux raised the hand that wasn’t pressed against the side of Eridan’s face. The trident came flying through the air, and Sollux caught it smoothly. He dropped it instantly, shoving it away, far enough that there was no way the Condesce could reach it.

“She’s done,” Sollux said with a relieved half chuckle, half laugh and sure enough, Feferi removed the trident with a snarl, lunging forward to stab her again, this time the middle of the trident caught her in the neck. The screaming stopped, to be replaced with a horrific gurgling.

Everything in the room came to a halt. The few troll guards who were still battling Nepeta and Kanaya stopped fighting. The roar of Kanaya’s chainsaw ended and he watched as she limped out of the rubble towards where Condense lay, gasping and choking. The few remaining guards walked forward as well, stunned expressions on their faces.

“They’ll declare FF empress the moment she dies,” Sollux explained quietly, turning back to him. Eridan could see the worry on his face. “Stay with me, asshole, you’re gonna want to see this.”

Eridan almost smiled. It was sweet of Sollux to look at him like that, like he mattered, like he wanted him around. Funny in their entire sweep of being together he had never given him a look like that before. Eridan drew in a deep breath, or tried to, past the pain and reached up, catching Sollux’s sleeve with bloody fingers. “Take care of Kar for me,” he managed to get out.

“Shut up,” Sollux hissed, sudden vehemence in his voice. “Shut up, you’re not going to die.”

He actually managed to choke a laugh out at that. “In case you hadn’t noticed I ended up on the wrong end of a culling fork.”

Sollux’s face twisted. He leaned down and suddenly Eridan found himself being kissed, desperately, ANGRILY, as psionic energy crackled in the air around him. He could feel it inside of him, and that was a weird feeling, he was light headed, close to drifting. He passively let Sollux kiss him, it didn’t hurt, unlike the other times. It was nice… nice to know someone cared…

There was commotion in the room and Sollux jerked away, lips stained purple with Eridan’s blood, desperation on his face and teeth clenched. There was cheering, and Eridan narrowed his eyes, trying to focus. “Is she?” he asked, and he still wanted to know, especially if he only had a few desperate moments left…

“Yeah, so hang the fuck on!” Sol snarled at him. “KK will be here any second and he’s gonna want to see you…”

“Sol,” he didn’t care about the Condense anymore, now that he knew she was dead. His kismesis was getting increasingly agitated. “Sol, look at me.”

“No, shut up, you’re not…”

Eridan sighed. The fight left him then, bleeding out of him like he should be, but probably wasn’t because Sollux was stoppering the holes with his power. That was only going to work for so long. He wasn’t bleeding out but he was probably bleeding inward and he knew enough about anatomy to know that was still a death sentence. Every breath he took was a struggle, so he had at least one pierced lung… possibly two. The only reason why he was even still around was because the culling fork hit on either side of his chest, missing his heart. The rest of his body was still screwed.

Maybe, he thought hazily, his mind drifting. Maybe he could hang on for Kar…

“Eridan!” he became aware of a voice calling for him, a girl’s voice and he smiled vaguely. He was glad she made it. Feferi swam into his vision and he grinned at her, or tried to. There was a cloth tied around her arm where the fork got her, fabric from Kanaya’s skirt. She fell to her knees by his head, good hand reaching for him. “Oh, Eridan!” she cried out again. “I never wanted you to get hurt, I’m so sorry,” there were tears in her eyes and he wondered at that.

“Never expected to make it anyway,” he managed to get out with a cough. “Glad you… got ‘er,” he added. It was becoming increasingly hard to breathe. The blood was filling his lungs from the inside, he thought vaguely. He was going to drown in his own fluids, any moment now. “Kar?” he asked, brow knitting.

“He’s not here yet,” Feferi said and her eyes overflowed, twin lines of pink tinted tears winding down her cheeks. “Eridan, hang on,” she added. She gripped his shirt in her hand, then pressed her palm to his chest, right between the two holes. “Please, you have to hang on.”

Eridan blinked sluggishly, aware that time was slowing down. “Glad you didn’t blow us all to shit,” he said finally to Sollux, who was standing behind Feferi now. Sollux’s hands were clenched into fists, the power around him crackling. The world was going grey. “Take care a him for me…” he couldn’t breathe.

He felt the moment when his blood pusher stopped. He managed one last wet strangled breath before the world faded. His vision went from grey to white, then black and he knew nothing else.

.


	9. Chapter 9

.

Eridan walked.

He walked for what felt like days, in a weird white void with occasional greyed out hives here and there. Whenever he tried to walk towards them they retreated into the distance, so he stopped trying.

After a while he felt numb. He wasn’t tired, he just didn’t feel like walking anymore. He sat down and watched the whiteness that faded into infinity. He wondered where he was, then, in an apathetic kind of way. Was this the troll afterlife? If so why was he here? He puzzled over that, brow furrowed deeply, but try as he might he couldn’t put anything together. Was he dead? If he was, how did he die?

“Hello?” he called out, and wondered why it hadn’t occurred to him to try to find anyone before. “Is anybody there?”

No one answered him, and there was just white, forever, in every direction.

After a while he got bored of sitting and went back to walking. He realized he was walking along a beach, and that surprised him. He squinted at the water, but it was white like the rest, a shifting image that never remained still in a void nothingness.

He was lost, he knew that now. He didn’t know where he was, and he usually could place every beach on Alternia. He wasn’t anywhere familiar. “Hello?” he called out again, hoping that someone, anyone would hear him. Still no one answered.

He walked more, becoming increasingly agitated. He was forgetting something. He was forgetting EVERYTHING. Nothing made sense to him, none of the images he saw, when he could focus enough on them, nor the white void that surrounded him.

He considered for a long moment straining to remember something. Nothing came. He gave up and kept walking.

.

When she first appeared he thought she was going to disappear again, like the scenery did when he approached it. He was surprised when she stayed put.

It was a troll. A pretty girl troll, with curled horns, and eyes blank and white. That was strange. He puzzled at her, especially when she didn’t disappear like everything else. “Hello?” he questioned again, and she smiled.

He knew her. He realized that slowly, the knowledge coming to him in fits and starts. He knew her name as well. “Aradia?” he asked, the word rolling off his tongue awkwardly.

“Hello Eridan,” she said.

“Am I dead?” he asked. He wasn’t quite sure, but she seemed like someone who would know.

She cocked her head to the side at his question. “Do you want to be?” she asked.

He frowned at her. “What kind of question is that?” he replied. “A course I don’t.” It was true, even though he couldn’t quite place why it was so.

She laughed, and the sound grated on his nerves. His frown grew.

“Where am I?” he demanded finally. “Nothing here stays put.”

“It’s your mind,” she said. “Your body is deciding whether it wants to stay or come to the afterlife with us.”

“There’s an afterlife,” Eridan replied.

She looked at him.

“Wait a minute, are you dead?” Eridan continued. Memories were coming back now, fragmented as they were. He hadn’t actually spoke to Aradia since the game spat them back out like nothing had ever happened, but even so he was fairly sure that she had been alive again.

She grinned, widely. “Sort of,” she replied. “I am a conduit between your world and mine.”

“… Okay.” Eridan said. He let out an impatient sigh. He had no time for metaphysical notions and whatever Aradia thought she was. “I want to be alive again, if it’s alright with you,” he said. “I want…” and then his eyes widened as his last memories came back to him. “Kar’s still alive, isn’t he? He didn’t die in the attack?”

The manic grin grew. “Perhaps you should find out for yourself,” she said and clapped her hands together.

There was a blinding flash of light, and then nothing.

.

Eridan came to with a choked gasp, eyes flying open. He blinked, rapidly, at the white ceiling above. It was definitely substantial, unlike the white void he had been in before. It took him a moment to realize the ceiling was familiar… he was in the Mediculler center, close to the palace. He had occasionally taken prisoners here, when they suffered an arm break, or tried to chew their hands off, or needed major surgery and were too important to let die.

He jerked his hands, wanting to rub at his eyes, only to hear the jangle of chains. His hands lifted maybe inches, if that. He tried to sit up, but couldn’t. He was strapped in.

Eridan’s blood ran chill, colder than he ever thought possible. Shit. He turned his head to the side, only to find a wall of machines, several of which had tubes and wires extending out of his body and into them. One of them was a blood pusher monitor… he knew because it started to beep faster the more he began to panic. He tried to calm down, but it was impossible. He was restrained in a place where trolls often went to die. It was suddenly beyond his capacity to even think about being calm, though he did try to keep his voice level as he called out.

“Hello?” he asked the empty room. The tremble in his voice was telling.

There was no reply, of course there wasn’t and Eridan drew in a quick breath. He called out again, then jerked his arms, hearing the clang of chain as he tried to move more than a couple inches.

He shut his eyes and tried his best to calm down past the roaring in his ears. Calm, calm, the bloodpusher machine was still going crazy with beeps beside him, which wasn’t doing anything for his nerves.

He heard a sound of a click to his other side. He opened his eyes and jerked his head to look for where the sound came from.

A small intercom sat on the table. For a moment he heard static and then a crackle and then the most welcoming voice he absolutely did not want to hear right then.

“Ehehehe, your blushpusher machine is going crazy.”

“Sol!” He let out his name with an explosion of both exasperation and relief. “Sol, what’s going on? I’m in the Mediculler center!”

“You don’t think I know that?” Sollux snorted. “I’m the one that put you there. Welcome to the land of the living, again, too bad you’re going to wish you hadn’t come back real soon.”

Eridan went absolutely still. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he demanded to know.

That got another annoying chuckle. He didn’t think it was possible to hate his ex-kismesis any more than he currently did. “Welcome to the new world order. Guess what? You’re not needed here.”

If he couldn’t hear the damn beeping blood pusher machine clear as twilight, he would have thought his heart had stopped. “W-what do you mean?” he stammered out. “I helped attack the Condesce with you! I’m on your side!”

 “Not fast enough, asshole. Oh, gee, help the rebels at the last possible second after sweeps of helping out the throne. You’re wanted for the torture of rebel soldiers. All your guard buddies have already stood trial, you know. Half of them were culled. You’re next.”

“That’s bullshit!” Eridan replied, angry now as the new information set in. Maybe there were other guards who deserved to be culled, but half of them? “They were just doing their JOBS, you culled them for doing their work?”

“For enjoying their work, you mean. Oh, kind of like you.”

Eridan was furious now. “I never enjoyed a moment of that, and you know it!” he began to struggle in earnest now, trying to free himself.

“Sollux!” the roar of a very familiar voice interrupted him. Eridan felt relief course though him.

“Kar!” he called out desperately at the tiny intercom. “Kar, you’re alive!”

“Yeah, asshole, I am,” was the grumpy reply. “And so the hell are you, it looks like,” Karkat’s voice faded out for a moment. “Why the hell would you say that shit to him? He literally just woke up. Are you panfried or just grossly obscene? Come on Sollux, I expect better from you!”

Sollux’s faded voice in the background did not sound repentant at all. “He’s fine, calm the fuck down.”

“No, he’s not!” Karkat exploded. “You just told him he’s going to get culled!”

“Kar, I thought you said I’d be safe?” Eridan called out desperately.

“See?” was Karkat’s voice on the other side of the intercom. Karkat’s voice drew closer again. “Eridan, you were found in the palace and some of our troops recognized you. It’s not a huge deal, but you have to listen to me VERY carefully,” his voice was low and urgent now. “You’re going to stand trial. Whatever you do, DON’T panic about it. The only guards we’ve executed where those who were completely loyal to the Condesce and showed no remorse during the trial. You’re not like that at all. They’ll let you go, I’m sure of it, but for now, keep your fucking head down and don’t get yourself hurt. Do you understand me?”

Eridan was silent for a moment as he processed that. “Yeah, I do,” he said finally. He supposed it was the best he could expect. He was sure Terezi was involved in this somehow, by the way they were speaking during their meetings seemed to indicate they wanted to make everything under Feferi completely legal. And public. “I don’t suppose I can get out of it, somehow?” he asked, not even bothering to sound hopeful. He was strapped down in the Mediculler center and couldn’t move, his chances weren’t very high. “Attackin’ the Condesce got me into this situation to begin with.”

“No,” Karkat sounded like he was in pain. “But I’m not going to let them kill you, I promise. You’re mine.”

Eridan managed a small smile at that. “Yeah, Kar, I’m yours,” he replied, the words coming out automatically. He didn’t even care if his ex-kismesis was listening in. It was true, he belonged to the other troll, and right now his life was in his hands. He paused. He drew in a breath, and let it back out again. “How long was I out?” he asked.

“Nearly a perigee,” Karkat replied and Eridan’s eyes widened at that. Nearly a month… no wonder they had time to establish Feferi on the throne and take citizens to trial. He swallowed and asked the last question.

“How am I alive?” he really wanted to know. He felt himself die, he remembered that now.

The silence was uncomfortable. “We don’t know,” Karkat finally admitted. “Feferi might have done something. All I know is what they told me, that they thought you were dead, but when I got to you, you had started breathing again but you were out… and the holes in your chest had healed over.”

Eridan blinked at that.

“So, uh, congratulations, I guess, for being one of the only assholes to survive a culling.”

“Feferi has magical healing powers?” Eridan questioned.

“Uh, yeah, I guess?” was the reply. Karkat sounded like he sure as hell didn’t know. “Whatever she did she doesn’t know how to do it again, so try not to get yourself killed again, all right?”

“Pity you, Kar,” Eridan said with a small smile. It seemed like the best thing to say since he wasn’t dead any longer.

“Pity you, dipshit, so do me a favor and stay the fuck alive,” was Karkat’s instant reply. “Keep your head down, don’t do anything stupid. Promise me that.” He could hear the desperation in Karkat’s voice.

Eridan’s chest swelled with something profoundly warm… he felt cared for, pity was a wonderful thing. “A course I’m gonna stay alive, what do you take me for?” he asked.

Karkat chuckled and Eridan could hear Sollux making disgusted noises in the background. “Just… stay calm. They’re coming to get you now. They’ll put you in prison. Your trial will probably be in a couple days, I’ll be there, I promise.”

“Okay, Kar,” Eridan replied, feeling himself calm despite himself, and despite the fact that he knew he should be in full panic mode right now. The beeping machine had slowed down. “I got this,” he added, trying his best to sound reassuring.

“I know you do,” Karkat’s voice was warm. “I’ll see you soon.”

.

They did come for him, two trolls he recognized and one he did not. They still wore their colors and their shapes on their chests, but besides that were only dressed in black, unlike the lavish uniforms the guards had to wear when he was in the service of the throne. They took the lid off the medical slab, to reveal he was naked, to his utter humiliation. The humiliation faded quickly to weary acceptance, of course he was naked, he was a prisoner. The machines were unhooked by the other trolls, going down his body and disconnecting everything as Eridan tried to remember where he knew them from. The brown, he remembered, was an underling guard who worked near the courthouses, he had passed him before several times to and from work, but thought nothing of him. It would make sense, given his place on the hemospectrum, that he was part of the rebels. The teal blood… his realized he recognized him as one of the prisoners. He never touched him himself, except to clean him, but the familiarity was there. He kept his head down even more at that, trying not to meet his gaze, or focusing on the unfamiliar green when he could.

“Look at his fucking fins,” the green commented finally as they lifted him off of the slab. His legs didn’t work and he nearly collapsed, only to have the brown step in and take his other arm.

“I know this one,” was the voice from the teal behind him. “He used to do rounds to my cell.”

Head down. This was definitely what Karkat meant by keeping his head down and not drawing attention to himself.

“Looks like someone already did a number on him,” commented the green, and he wondered at that as they began to lead him from the room, half dragging him as weeks of lying in the Mediculler center had rendered his legs nearly useless.

“Didn’t his kismesis used to be Captor?” was the brown now, which got a snort from the teal.

“Fucking Captor. Dun know why he’d take a slimy seadweller for a kismesis, everyone knows how much he hates them.”

That was bullshit, Eridan thought to himself. He thought everyone knew Sollux was with Feferi for years… unless that relationship had been kept secret from the rest of their rebels? He couldn’t see why it would matter to them who Sollux’s matesprit was…

“Probably wanted a personal punching bag from the looks of it, check out those scars on his gills,” was the mild reply from the green.

Eridan felt himself flush with humiliation again, but continued to keep his head down, let them talk. It didn’t matter, none of it did. He didn’t expect the blow to catch him in the back, making him stumble and nearly wrench out of the arms of the two guards on either side of him. “Is that what happened, sea scum? Captor ruin you already? Too bad, I was hoping for a go.”

Eridan didn’t say a thing. Just remained as absolutely still as he could manage.

“Ferris, cut it out,” the brown spoke up. “We’re just delivery and transport. I don’t think the high ups are going to appreciate you messing with the cargo,” they had led him to the small underground train that connected the Mediculler center to the prisons. Eridan knew what to do, and he sat quietly between the two guards that probably weren’t going to hurt him. He hoped.

He kept his gaze focused squarely on the tiny patch of floor in front of him. The teal paced. From the glimpses he could get of him when his back was turned, Eridan could see he had filled out and recovered from whatever torture they had done to him in the prisons. He was also furious, he could see that, he could feel the anger rolling off of him in waves. He had a feeling this troll would kill him himself if he had a chance.

He just hoped he could keep his promise to Karkat and survive until the trial.

.

They got him into a cell with minimal commentary, tossing him to the ground and chaining his wrist to the floor. He shut his eyes against rising panic, he could take torture and abuse, he could, but the anticipation was the worst. He could barely breathe, and didn’t calm down until they left, drawing the cell door closed as they went.

.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I moved countries and started a new job at the end of February, it took until now to get settled.
> 
> Warnings for rape and abuse in this chapter.

.

He slept fitfully, unable to focus on much of anything except for how cold he was… he was already cold blooded enough, but being stripped to nothing left him shivering. He wondered at that, how he could adapt to water fine, but cold _air_ left him unable to cope. He was miserable, of course he was, and hungry. Perhaps he was cold because he was hungry.

He probably deserved it, he reflected bitterly as he curled into a ball around his chained hand. For over a sweep he had done nothing but look down on the prisoners here with distain and irritation that he had to have anything to do with them, it was only after a childhood friend ended up here that he had cared at all.

Now he was in the reverse position, how could he expect any other troll to care about his existence?

He sunk even lower into misery. He wanted Karkat to be here. He wanted his matesprit to be here and just be with him, reassuring him he was okay by just… sitting there like he had done for Kar for weeks and weeks. He realized, suddenly, what it must have meant to Karkat. To go from torment and torture and uncertainly to an old… friend who never tried to hurt him, only cleaned him up and touched his hair from time to time. Now he could get a tiny bit of an inkling of what had caused Karkat to become flushed for him in the first place, after he was done being enraged over the fact that Eridan wouldn’t help him in any other way.

Torture made the bloodpusher grow fonder? He instantly pushed the thought away. That was silly. He was being stupid.

He was so desperately alone.

.

It might have been a day later, perhaps only half a day. He was hungry and thirsty, but that couldn’t be helped. His shivering had faded and he was warm again. He tried to sleep the best he could, clinging to the fact that Karkat had said he’d stand trial in a couple days. Maybe they’d let him eat something before the trial? He needed to use the facilities as well, and also knew that was the reason why there was a drain in the center of the cell. He carefully used it as best as he could, his arm chain stretched to the limit as he did so, then went back to the other side of the cell to put as much distance as he could between the drain and himself.

He hadn’t told anyone, but cleaning Karkat involved more work on Eridan’s part near the end, when Karkat couldn’t move any longer. Not that he’d ever tell Karkat about that. He didn’t need to be reminded how he literally needed someone to clean up his shit.

Eridan drifted and jerked awake again as the doors to the cell clanged open and then shut again. He turned, unraveling himself from his rolled up state, and sat up, blinking up owlishly at the other troll. He didn’t have his glasses, but he could still see enough to tell who it was.

It was the teal, Ferris. The former prisoner. Karkat’s words came back to him and he quickly looked away, turning his gaze towards the corner of the cell, putting on a deliberate show of submission. He was going to survive this, he was. The fact that Ferris was alone didn’t bode well for his continued well being.

The boot to his thorax still shocked him. He gasped, then groaned, curling instinctively towards the pain. The teal leaned down and caught him before he could move away. He crouched down next to him and grasped Eridan’s jaw. The glob of spit that caught on the cheek was completely unnecessary.

“Stupid, self important seascum, I remember you,” the teal hissed. “You always had that look of distain on your face when you did your rounds. Thought we were worthless, didn’t you? Less than the dirt on your boots. And now look at you! Look at how far you’ve fallen,” the words came at Eridan as if from far away. All Eridan could really hear was the roaring in his ears, and felt the conflicting urge to either fight or run away. Except he couldn’t run away, he had to survive, he had to survive for Kar...

“They told me you gotta stay alive for the trial, but they didn’t tell me what shape you had to be in.” Ferris let him go and plunged his fingers into his gills, working past the protective layer of skin to the delicate insides, and Eridan screamed despite himself. That hurt, that hurt more than anything, and the fact that his gills were under assault took his breath away as his body struggled to cope. He couldn’t help but to glare, a little, past the pain. Even Sollux didn’t do this unless he was really, really pissed. Eridan could feel blood tricking down his side and he knew that shocked his tormentor because he pulled away and stared at his bloody fingers for a long moment, like he couldn’t quite figure out why claws and delicate fucking folds of skin didn’t mix.

Ferris recovered, then cursed and hit him across the face. Eridan went down, sprawling across the floor.

“Not my fault you’re so fucking fragile,” he said, like that was really Eridan’s fault. The blood apparently didn’t deter him any. His face fin was grasped next, wrenched back and Eridan bit into his lip to prevent another scream.  He swallowed against the hot liquid pain he now felt from the side of his face. Ferris watched him intently and Eridan forced himself still, determined not to give him any sort of pleasure from watching his reactions. His plan went to shit when he dragged a fingernail across the membrane. Eridan swallowed back a whimper and tried not to hyperventilate. It didn’t seem to be working very well, especially when he felt the membrane tear, the sound loud in his ears. He tensed despite himself, his breathing rapid, trying to blink back tears.

 This troll was going to tear him apart bit by bit. The realization set in with a low note of finality. He was right, Eridan was only needed alive to stand trial.

He liked how he looked, and even Sollux, thank fuck, stayed away from his face. Eridan had already gone through his last molt… anything that was damaged now would remain so, torn forever if they were not stitched back together.

He was going to have to get used to any new scars this troll decided to give him. He relaxed with considerable struggle. He was not going to engage. He turned his face away, staring off into a corner.

 With his gaze focused on another part of the room he missed when the malice on his face turned from something less cruel to more curious.

He didn’t miss when the teal lets his face fin go, and started to run his hands down Eridan’s sides. Eridan jerked his gaze back to Ferris’ face, but the other troll had stopped looking at him, his focus on Eridan’s skin. Eridan repressed a shudder and watched silently. At the same time he folded up his burning fin against the side of his face to keep it protected as possible. The teal asshole could still jerk it out again, but he tried his best to make it seem small and insignificant.

The slow touch stopped at where his much larger pelvic fins were tucked against his sides, folded up neatly because there was no water for them to flare out in.

The teal grinned. He grabbed at one of them, yanking it out to fully flared, and Eridan whimpered despite himself. He needed those, they were very useful for maneuvering while swimming. Ferris glanced at his face, before very deliberately grasping a couple of the bones that supported the membranes in one hand and further down the fin with the other. The bones were small here, and easy to break, and Eridan understood what he was going to do before he did it.

He whimpered despite himself, and when the teal blood twisted his hands he let out an explosion of breath with the sharp pain that accompanied it.

“Stop,” he rasped, his voice high pitched with utter desperation. “Please. Don’t do this.”

The teal laughed in his face and jerked his hands. The bones broke. Eridan screamed and didn’t stop.

.

Ferris started talking as he worked, sometime after his left fin was shredded and his right broken in several places. He talked about what they had done to him, conversationally, like Eridan should know or care, or worse, even participated, which he certainly didn’t do.

Eridan faded in and out in a haze of pain, and barely registered it when fingers slid into his nook, driving into him roughly. He barely noticed any of it, what with his broken fin bones screaming at him for attention. He did notice when he was hit again, in the broken fin, pain making him gasp and twist and be completely unable to get away. The fingers in his nook kept him firmly in place.

“This is what they did,” Ferris was saying, his voice coming as if from far away as he jammed in a third finger. “For fun.”

“I never…” Eridan trailed off. He didn’t pail anyone against their will, or touch their nooks except to clean them, but it didn’t matter. He made a face and focused on the wall, grey as it was, taking in the pockmarks in the cement. It was boring but it was better than focusing on the pain or Ferris’ angry words.

He understood what was happening here, how he was paying for how others treated this rebel while he was in prison himself, but it didn’t mean he had to pay it any mind. Ferris would probably pail him next. Luckily he had lots of practice being pailed while in so much pain the world was hazing out around him…

The mere thought of being pailed made an unexpected pang of longing well up in his chest. He wanted Kar. He wanted his matesprit desperately and he couldn’t help the despondent trill that escaped his lips. It was something caught between a mating call and a plea for help, an ultimately shameful sound. Even the troll violating him stilled.

Ferris pulled his fingers out and punched him in the face, again, before grabbing him by the throat. “Who was that for?” he demanded to know.

Eridan snapped back to here and now and present, fear rolling up his spine as he realized what he had done. “No one,” he sputtered, then amended quickly. “Sol.”

Ferris laughed and it was an ugly sound. “That wasn’t a black trill,” he said. “You want your fucking matespit. Tell me, who is it? Who is desperate enough to pail a fuck up like you?”

He couldn’t answer, he couldn’t, blind panic over taking him. By admitting he was red for Kar when he had obviously been his guard… it made him seem even more terrible than Ferris already thought he was. It made him a liar. It was only when Ferris grabbed his hand, the one with the now broken small finger, and ground the bones together that Eridan relented, fear and pain loosening his tongue.

“Kar,” when the grip didn’t let up he elaborated. “K-Karkat Vantas.”

The name rolled off his tongue like a condemnation. He had never been so certain he was going to die. Shock and rage crossed the teal’s face in equal amounts. He was hit again, and now he could hear a low buzzing in his ears. “You pailed him while he was here?!” and again with the punching. “There’s no way Vantas would let you touch him willingly, you gross abomination of a troll!” each word was punctuated with another hit. Eridan was fairly sure he could feel some of his teeth break.

 Eridan laughed when the teal’s tirade ended, actually laughed, despite the pain. “Really,” he replied acidly, words spilling from his lips despite himself. He was lisping through swollen lips, and he had past the point of even caring as he had only moments before. He was going to die, and he wasn’t going to go without a fight, or at least some strong words. “Is it so hard to believe I might pity him?” he laughed then, a terrible broken sound. “I never fuckin’ touched him when he didn’t want me to, you ugly waste a space. He’s my _matesprit_.” The word got caught in his throat as he said it. “Who do you think helped him escape this place? Why do you think I was fightin’ in the palace for the rebels? I was loyal to the fuckin’ throne until he came along.” His words were having the opposite effect than he expected, the teal was looking increasingly pale, the grip on Eridan’s neck was relenting. “I’d die for him, I’ve already done it once, and I’ll do it again. Do your fuckin’ worst, see if I care.” He spat then, a wad of blood, returning the favor. Ferris barely blinked. He didn’t wipe his face, merely got off of him slowly. There was something close to terror on his face. He took one look down the length of Eridan’s body, then abruptly turned and left the cell.

.

Eridan faded in and out of consciousness, miserable with pain when he was completely awake, and still so hungry he was beginning to shake. He was beginning to wish he were dead, if just to be a little less wretched.

“Oh.”

The word was said with a soft disappointed exhalation. Eridan struggled past the pain that radiated from everywhere to look up at the cell door.

It was the brown blood from the day before last. He had a look on his face that seemed caught somewhere between disappointed and incredibly sad. Eridan just watched as he let himself into the cell, putting down a wash bucket as he did so. He turned back to latch up the door again, and his shoulders rose and fell again as he seemed to be steeling himself.

When he turned back again his eyes met Eridan’s solemnly. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Eridan’s lip curled. “I dun need your _pity_ ,” he snapped. “I dun want it.”

The brown flinched and lowered his gaze. “I wish he hadn’t…” he trailed off, his brow knit. “Every troll has worth,” he said quietly. He looked up, catching Eridan’s eyes, earnestness shining in them. “That’s what the new Empress says. I believe her.”

Fef. Of course she did, she used to say things like that all the time. Before the game. Before his life went to hell and he had been miserable ever since, save for small glimmers of joy, like when he got to swim with Kar under the rising moons of Alternia... it seemed like a lifetime ago.

The brown silently picked up the wash bucket and came over, sitting down beside him. His eyes widened as he took in the damage. “I don’t know if I can…” he reached down and touched Eridan’s battered fins, and the mere touch made pain radiate up his side. Eridan winched, clenching his broken teeth against the pain.

“I need to set those,” the brown said finally.

“No you fuckin’ don’t,” Eridan replied defensively. “You need to leave me the fuck alone,” he added.

That got him a chastising look. “My name is Nameda. I don’t really care how far up you are on the hemospecrum, you’re not going to scare me away. I’m here to help you.”

“Where were you earlier, then? If you’re so intent on helpin’.” He was being unfair, he knew it, and the pain kept his tongue sharp.

Nameda dropped his gaze again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t… _we_ didn’t think he’d snap like that. They’ll put him back in here for sure, interfering with the prisoners is an offense against the throne now. No matter who you are, or who you used to be,” he added.

“Or who I’m pailin’,” Eridan added bitterly.

Nameda flinched visibly at that, then gave Eridan a wry look. “Telling him about your… _liaison_ with Vantas may have saved your life, you know,” he said, his voice gentle now. “He probably expected to get off with a slap on the wrist for accidentally killing an exguard loyal to the Condesce. Matesprits with Vantas…” Nameda let out a low whistle. “That troll has wrath like no other. Ferris is going to wish he were dead once he’s done with him. If he doesn’t just cull him out right…”

Eridan stared at him blankly. “Haven’t seen it,” he said finally, turning his head away with a small pout. That wasn’t true, exactly, he knew Kar was good at getting angry. It was just that he was used to Kar flipping his lid when they were harmless wigglers pretending to be adults that the adult Karkat held no real fear for him. He supposed his position as a rebel leader made him something to be feared. He frowned, another thought occurring to him as the Nameda set about cleaning the blood off of his skin. “Why isn’t he here?” he asked, and now he couldn’t help the whine that crept into his voice. Great, now he was helpless, weak, and whiny.

Nameda paused briefly, before going back to cleaning. “He will be, I’m sure,” he said. “Ferris came to me first. If Vantas is your matesprit like you said, I’d say I have about ten minutes before he comes storming in here and all hell is going to break loose,” he reached out, taking Eridan’s hand in his own, frowning at the broken finger. “I’m sorry,” he said finally, and tugged on it. It set with a snap and white hot pain rolled up Eridan’s arm. He clenched his teeth, breathing shallowly through his teeth and willing the pain to recede. What he didn’t expect was a hand to fall against his cheek, patting him gently.

What was he… was he papping him?

That startled Eridan more than anything Ferris had done. He hadn’t had a moirail since Feferi, and that had been a piss poor moirallegiance to begin with. His thoughts were confirmed when Nameda uttered a soft “shoosh”.

“Are you…” he began, but trailed off, because it was calming and it was making the pain recede. Never mind the utter atrocity of being shooshed by a troll he literally had just met, he was tired and unable to fight, and he was going to take a bit of pity where he could.

And then Nameda removed his hands to go about setting his fin bones and all calm thoughts instantly fled.

When he faded back into consciousness again he became aware of the hand smoothing his hair back from his forehead and the soft shooshes that were continuing to be uttered by the brown blood. “I sure hope you don’t have yourself a moirail,” he muttered, without even bothering to open his eyes.

Nameda laughed softly. “I don’t, actually,” he said. He took his hand away. “Are you good?” he asked.

“What do you think?” Eridan replied, then inhaled deeply. He was calm, and now that his bones were set the pain was fading to a barely tolerable throb. He felt safer than he had since he had woken up the Mediculler center, and it was nice to know at least one troll was on his side. “Yeah,” he added. “Yeah, I am.”

.

Nameda continued to clean him, as he sat back with a small sigh after he was done, the water in the bucket now violet with his blood. They both heard the sound of approaching footsteps, coming at a run, far before the troll actually appeared at the doors of the cell.

Nameda was blocking his view, so he heard him before he actually saw him.

“What the fine fresh fuck is going on here?” Nameda shifted… more like jerked away from Eridan and then he could see him. Despite the pain Eridan grinned, his bloodpusher hammering in his chest. It was him and he looked magnificent. Every hint of the emancipated prisoner he once was was completely gone, to be replaced by a glorious troll with furious red pupils and a luxurious looking vermillion soldier’s uniform. He didn’t think it was possible to feel more proud of his matesprit.

Karkat’s eyes widened upon seeing him, his face twisting. “Oh my god, Eridan!” he turned his now angry gaze to Nameda. “What the hell happened to him?” he demanded to know.

Eridan saw the cringe and could hear anxiety in Nameda’s voice. “One of the former prisoners got… got to him,” he said. “He asked me to come clean him up and make sure he didn’t… well, you know.”

“Shit,” Karkat had the cell open in seconds, crossing the floor in quick strides. Nameda scrambled away and Eridan felt a glimmer of protectiveness towards the brown blood. He didn’t want Karkat hurt him, though Nameda looked like he knew how to put distance between himself and a potentially lethal situation.

Karkat knelt next to him, his eyes taking in the entire length of his naked body and Eridan felt a small wave of shame that was quickly replaced with stubborn refusal to feel as such. It wasn’t his fault. “I’m sorry I told him about you, it slipped, I didn’t mean…” and then Karkat’s eyes were back up and met his, swimming with emotion.

“Shut up,” Karkat hissed, and Eridan obediently fell silent. Karkat drew in a deep breath, and then another, finally turning to Nameda. “Get out,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. Even Eridan felt a chill go through him at that and Eridan stared up at him wonderingly. Maybe Nameda was right about Karkat’s temper. At the same time Nameda scrambled to his feet and vacated the cell, barely making a noise as he did so.

“What happened?” Karkat said the moment they were alone.

“That brown blood told you already,” Eridan let out a shaky sigh. “The teal - he was a former prisoner. I never touched him but he remembered me. He was just angry,” he shifted uncomfortably at the look of rage on Karkat’s face. It didn’t suit him… it didn’t suit his memories of Karkat either. He had never seen him this angry. At the same time Karkat’s eyes were scanning his body again, ticking from injury to injury and if anything the look of fury seemed to grow.

Eridan reached out, grasping the corner hem of Karkat’s sleeve. “Don’t,” he said.

Karkat looked up, surprised. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t… do whatever you’re gonna to do. You said you wanted to build a better empire. So build one. Don’t cull him out of vengeance. Someone will find out and use it against you. It’s strategically a real bad move,” he looked away, focusing on the far wall of the cell. “I’m a liability,” he said frankly. “I shoulda died with the other guards you executed. I woulda if I hadn’t met you here. If you…” he hesitated, the words burning like bile in his throat. “If you cull me you won’t have to worry about me anymore. I won’t be an embarrassin’ fuck up you always have to try to explain…”

The blow to his cheek caught him by surprise. It wasn’t hard enough to wound, but Karkat had definitely put power behind the slap. A second later he was being kissed, frantically, and then he was being straddled as Karkat pressed down against him. For a long moment Eridan didn’t know how to react and then he melted into the embrace, kissing Karkat back desperately, nipping at his jaw, straining his head up to meet the kisses. He keened again, that same embarrassing sound he had made to provoke Ferris into beating him, but this time Karkat responded with a soft trill of his own.

“You’re mine,” Karkat pulled away just enough to hiss that, and Eridan couldn’t agree more.

“I’m yours,” Eridan agreed wholeheartedly. He felt Karkat’s fingers groping, sliding over his bulge to his recently opened nook and trilled his interest again. His nook was still dilated, his body had reacted to Ferris’ fingers like it would a black solicitation, slicking up in preparation for what was to come. Karkat could feel that, without even sliding a finger inside to check.

Karkat pulled away just enough to stare down at him, eyes horrified now. “Did he…?” Eridan shook his head before Karkat could finish.

“Just… fingers. He didn’t pail me…” he replied breathlessly, suddenly painfully hopeful. Was he going to… here? He spread his legs encouragingly. “You’re welcome to,” he added, because despite all the pain and suffering and the fact that his stomach was a hollow hole of hunger there was nothing he wanted more.

Instead of being repulsed, Karkat’s eyes searched his own, worry in them. “Please,” Eridan added again and he could hear the desperation in his voice. He was pathetic, not in the good way, he was suddenly afraid Karkat would realize it and leave. Some of that might have showed on his face.

“Not now… when you’re free,” Karkat said, his brow knitting. He looked more than a little troubled.

“Yeah, now,” Eridan replied, shaking his head. “I might not get another chance, Kar,” and there it was, out in the open. Karkat’s face crumpled into something a little more telling and Eridan felt a lick of fear go through him. “I’m… not gonna to make it, am I?” he asked softly. Even after all he had gone through…

Karkat leaned down and kissed him, fiercely, possessively, blunted teeth catching on his lips. He felt more than saw a rustle of cloth and then there was a searching feeling as Karkat’s exposed bulge slid across his belly. He gasped as Karkat sunk inside, a warm stretch that was so, so good. Distracting, because being pailed meant that he didn’t have to think about what Karkat hadn’t said.

He fumbled at Karkat, his chain clanking against the floor and pulled the smaller troll to himself, looping one of his legs around his back. He couldn’t move the other leg because the pain from the recently broken fin bones was too much, but it was enough. He studied the ceiling and tried to wrestle back his emotions as he held Karkat against his chest.

He wasn’t going to make it. It settled with a cold note of finality in his gut. This would be his last real decision, to allow his wonderful matesprit to pail him into the dirty floor of the same damn prison where this had all started in the first place.

.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the original character, I needed him for the story. 
> 
> Happy 6/12 (one day later!)

.

The clank of bars made him jerk awake, bloodpusher hammering against his ribcage as he blinked blurrily at the trolls that were now in the cell with him. The cell was small enough that he could see them easily even without his glasses, and he relaxed a bit and gave a tentative smile. One of them was Nameda, the other was an older troll female, dressed in a mediculler uniform, her eyes a deep green. Mid-blood, not worth his time, he found himself thinking. He chased the thought from his head the instant it came. This new empire didn’t care about blood and as a prisoner he wasn’t worth anything to anyone.

The mediculler had a grubpad in her hand and was typing into it.

Nameda was carrying something that looked suspiciously like grubloaf in one hand and another washbucket in the other. Nameda shouldn’t be worth his time either, he thought, but he was. He was just glad to see him again, his ally in his terrible place. Eridan sat up, or tried to, giving a small squeak of pain when that made his freshly broken and set spines rub against each other painfully.

“We’re here to take an assessment of your injuries, on order of the court,” the green blood said. Eridan blinked at that, then mentally shrugged. He was far more interested in the grubloaf Nameda was carrying.

Sure enough the brown blood came toward him and settled down next to him. He was handed the grubload. Eridan ate it ravenously, ignoring the fact that he was also thirsty, swallowing past his dry throat. Nameda sighed and went to wash his face with the cloth, and Eridan caught hold of it in his jagged broken teeth, sucking at it to get as much moisture and he could from it. He had no shame any longer. He was naked and broken in a prison cell, he literally could not get much lower than this.

“Starvation, dehydration. Lacerations to the facial fin, broken teeth,” the mediculler listed.

“Broken finger. The entirety of his left fin was crushed. I had to set each bone one by one,” Nameda supplied. He took back the cloth and dipped it back into the still clean water, handing it back to Eridan to suck on before moving down the length of his body. He paused when he got to his torso. “Is that…?” he questioned, trailing off.

Eridan looked at where Nameda was looking and flushed despite himself, putting down the cloth as he did so. He had gotten rid of most of the evidence of Karkat and his encounter down the drain, but he had no way to clean himself while naked in a cell.

“He’s my matespirit,” Eridan replied to the unasked question. He caught the look Nameda exchanged with the mediculler. “What?”

“He shouldn’t have,” the mediculler replied, her voice sharp. “There are rules.”

“Because those really work,” Eridan retorted. “Obviously.”

“They could,” she glared at him. “There is a reason I am making this report.”

“Kar did nothin’ wrong… Vantas,” Eridan elaborated upon seeing the confusion that crossed her face. “I asked him to. I might not live to see another night. I think it’s well within my right –“

“You have no rights,” the mediculler snapped back at him.

Eridan fell silent and Nameda sighed. “You have some rights,” he corrected gently, tugging the cloth away from Eridan. He dipped it in the water and set about cleaning him. Eridan bit back a hiss of displeasure at where Nameda was pressing the cloth, but he didn’t move away. Not that he could move much anyway while chained to the floor.

“I’m done,” the mediculler said after a moment. She gave Eridan a disgusted look and turned to leave the room.

Eridan watched her go, then turned his attention to Nameda. The brown blood continued to clean him, obstinately not looking at him as he did so, hiding behind his messy black locks. “What is it,” he said finally, a hint of defiance in his voice.

Nameda spoke softly and didn’t raise his head. “You shouldn’t have let him pail you,” he said finally. “It was one of the first rules we established when we won. Forced pailings of prisoners or prisoners of war are met with heavy sentences. For some of the former guards, they were culled if a prisoner remembered they were assaulted that way. The Empress sees it as a waste of needed genetic material for the drones at the least, and a gross violation of everything she stands for at the most.”

Eridan was silent. “Kar didn’t…”

Nameda looked up now, and Eridan was shocked at the worried expression on his face. “You’re a _prisoner_. He shouldn’t have touched you.”

Eridan bit his tongue. He wanted to say that Karkat touched him before as well, while their positions were reversed, but if Nameda was this worried he couldn’t see it going well for him at all. “He’s my matesprit.”

“I hope that matters enough,” Nameda said finally as he stood. “Your trial is tomorrow,” he added.

Eridan was silent as he digested that. He lay very still, then finally looked up at the other. “Do you think they’ll let me go?”

Nameda didn’t answer. Instead he hesitated for a moment, then crouched down, reaching out and smoothing his hand along Eridan’s face. For a moment he tensed, then relaxed into it. “I can’t be pailed by my matesprit, but somehow this is okay?” he complained softly.

The hand withdrew. “I suppose it’s against the rules as well,” Nameda sounded sad. “Though it’s far less likely you’d be forced into a papping.”

Eridan’s fins drooped. “I didn’t want you to stop,” he said.

“I know,” Nameda gave him a tense smile and got to his feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

.

Eridan couldn’t sleep that day. He stared at the ceiling and tried to drift off into sleep but it wasn’t coming. He kept on thinking about Karkat. He didn’t even stick around to talk, they had merely laid beside each other in the cell, on the cold hard ground and Karkat had buried his face against his shoulder. His parting kiss had nearly been black in intensity, and the look on his face had been hollow. He had looked him up and down like he would never see him again.

He might be right.

.

Nameda showed up early in the evening with two armed guards. He fed him more grubloaf before unchaining him and handing him a small bundle of clothing.

It was his old guard uniform. Eridan stared at it for a long moment. “This isn’t gonna go well for me if I wear this,” he pointed out as he slowly began to pull it on. His spines were healing nicely, he was even able to get the pants on over top of them, though he imagined they’d be protesting by the end of the day.

Nameda gave a helpless shrug. “Orders,” he replied.

“A course,” Eridan finished putting on his uniform, taking the time to smooth the fabric out and straighten the buttons. He had begun to fidget when Nameda took him by the arm and led him from the cell.

.

Eridan watched, tight lipped with his hands folded neatly in his lap as Terezi paced the floor of the courthouse arena.

She looked good. Fully grown, her shoulder length hair bobbed as she paced, cane in hand, teeth razor-sharp. He looked up and skimmed the crowd once again, only to drop his eyes a moment later. He could see Karkat and Sollux sitting off to the side of the crowd in a box full of officious looking trolls. Karkat’s face was stormy. Sollux… didn’t look bored, but he didn’t look happy either. Neither were looking at him.

 “We have eyewitness accounts that you were in fact a guard during Mr. Vantas’ incarceration,” she began, her voice high and loud, echoing off of the ceiling of the massive room.

Eridan stared at her mutely.

“Is this true?” Terezi prompted.

There was really no point in lying. He sighed and nodded. “Yes,” he replied.

“And is it true that you participated in the torture of the prisoners under your care?” she continued.

“No,” Eridan replied, and an angry murmur went up from the crowd. Pyrope raised her hand to gesture for them to stop and they quieted.

“We’ve had reports that state otherwise,” Terezi continued, a smirk playing at the corner of her mouth. She was enjoying this, but of course she was, and Eridan felt a lick of anger well up at her. He hadn’t seen her in sweeps, but he hadn’t expected her to be the one to condemn him.

Eridan tried his best to keep his face expressionless. “I never did anything I wasn’t ordered to do. I was part of the daytime cleaning crew. If a prisoner shit themselves, I cleaned up the mess. If they bled all over I cleaned that up too.”

“But you culled prisoners?” Terezi pressed and Eridan grit his broken teeth.

“Yeah,” he said finally and the crowd roared. An officious hand from Terezi caused them to settle again, but only after a long bout of shouting. He heard a few cries for his own culling in there. “WHEN I was ordered too,” he snapped at her. “Believe it or not, I haven’t had much of an appetite for killin’ since I was about six sweeps old.”

That got an eyebrow raise out of Terezi, though she didn’t give any other sign of acknowledgement. She didn’t press, and he was glad, only in that he didn’t want to have to explain that he once played a game with his friends and killed two of them, including the current empress.

“Let’s carry on,” she said after a moment, and began to pace again. “What is the nature of your relationship with the one Karkat Vantas?”

Eridan froze, and gave Karkat a desperate look. The stormy expression remained, but he didn’t give any indication what he thought. He also still wouldn’t look at him and that made something twist inside his gut. “I… pity him,” he said finally and he winced. “He’s my matesprit.”

The murmuring from the crowd was scandalous now. Eridan could feel sweat making the back of his uniform stick to him.

“Was he your matesprit before he became a prisoner?” Terezi asked when everyone had quieted.

“No,” Eridan replied. “I hadn’t seen him in sweeps.”

“What caused him to become your matesprit?”

“I—it didn’t happen right away,” Eridan said. “Not until after he got… I broke him out.”

“And what made you decide to break him out?” She was relentless.

“I – I pitied him,” Eridan managed to get out. His bloodpusher felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. Somehow he had a feeling this line of questioning was going to wind up with him on the wrong end of a culling fork. Again.

“He didn’t tell you his plans or about the rebellion?”

That was unexpected. “Why would Karkat ever tell me anything?” Eridan replied, surprised. “They were torturing him for information, why would he turn around and tell his guard?”

“So you let him go because you… pitied him. No other reason?”

“He was dying,” Eridan exploded finally, sitting up straight as he did so. “He was dying slowly and there was nothin’ I could do about it. I didn’t wanna see him die! He treated me with a little bit of fuckin’ kindness and I let him fuckin’ go!”

“Was it possible that Vantas was manipulating your pity in order to gain release?”

Eridan sat back slowly. “I suppose that’d be a possibility, yeah.”

“So Karkat Vantas manipulated your pity to gain release, then grossly continued to use you for his own ends, up to and including sending you in to fight against the Condense, a move that led to your near death. That doesn’t sound much like pity to me.”

Eridan stared at her for a moment then glanced up at the bench, desperate for some sort of support. Karkat was now standing, his glare fixed on Terezi.

“He does, though.” Even he could hear the hesitation in his own voice.

“The court holds records that you spent a perigee in a mediculler facility, recovering from injuries sustained from the Condense herself. Furthermore, records state that one Karkat Vantas did not visit you once during that time period.”

His mouth opened and shut again abruptly. Terezi was grinning, all teeth showing and Eridan had a fleeting thought that she might actually be Karkat’s kismesis.

“I’m sure he was busy,” Eridan said, but his voice sounded much weaker now.

“He led you to your death and left you to die,” Terezi interjected as she turned away to pace.

“I fought the Condense willingly,” Eridan spoke louder now, feeling defensive. That, at least, was true.

“You had no choice,” Terezi said, turning back towards him. “Here you are, a former prison guard, surrounded by rebel troops. Of course you’re going to agree to help. Self preservation is very important. The court wishes to call Karkat Vantas to stand trial!”

The roar in the room was now was incredulous, which was about how Eridan felt. He watched as Karkat visibly tensed, then shook his head slowly at Terezi. Even Sollux looked surprised, and slightly amused. An officious looking guard walked up to the audience where Karkat sat and took him by the arm, leading him towards where Eridan sat. He was placed in a stand beside Eridan’s.

Eridan gave him an incredibly surprised look, but Karkat still wouldn’t look at him. Instead he was hyper-focused on Terezi and if looks could kill…

“Karkat Vantas,” Terezi trilled, leaning forward onto her cane. “The court wishes to call into question your relationship with the defendant.”

There was dead silence in the arena. “What the fuck are you even doing?” Karkat retorted finally, his voice loud and angry. “Yeah, he’s my matesprit. Yeah, I pity him. What’s up with the fucking trial?”

“Yet you had no interest in visiting him while he lay dying by the orders you personally gave him.”

“It wasn’t MY orders, we all agreed ahead of time. He insisted if I recall. Not that it matters! As for visiting, I was a bit busy helping the Empress establish her empire, fuck you very much. He was _unconscious_ , Terezi. That means he’s not going to give much of a shit if I’m around or not!”

Terezi took a step back, her eyes sharp. “Is it true that you paid him a visit while he was in the prisons the day before yesterday?”

Karkat sat back. Eridan barely heard the ‘oh fuck’ he muttered under his voice.

“Evidence was found that you pailed this prisoner while he was under the care of the empire,” Terezi now looked like a meowbeast who had just eaten a small feathered creature.

“I asked him to!” Eridan spoke up. Now Karkat finally looked at him and there was guilt in his eyes and on his face. It was strange to see and it confused him entirely.

Terezi completely ignored Eridan. “The court would like to submit that there is significant evidence that you, Karkat Vantas, have used this individual to ensure your escape, manipulated him mercilessly to your own ends, up to and including his demise. Further, in an especially gross violation of the new codes of conduct partly written by YOURSELF, you used a prisoner for your own pleasure.”

“Oh, FUCK you,” Karkat retorted. “I didn’t –“

Terezi turned back to the audience, who looked and sounded as dumbstruck as Eridan felt. “The court rests!”

There was a roar now, but it was more of a confused murmuring than a roar really. Terezi bowed and left the stage, leaving both Karkat and Eridan sitting in the witness stands.

“You never told me she was your kismesis,” Eridan muttered at Karkat.

Karkat’s jaw flexed. “She’s not,” he replied.

“You sure about that.” Karkat glanced at him and frowned, then dropped his gaze.

“On a scale of one to ten how fucked are you?” Eridan continued.

That got a healthy glare from Karkat, though it wasn’t aimed at him. He was nervous, Eridan could tell by the way he was tapping his fingers against the stand in front of him.

“You’re fucked,” Eridan decided. “And if you’re fucked, I can’t imagine how this is going to go for me.”

They sat in miserable silence together. Karkat never stopped fidgeting.

A few minutes later Terezi sashayed back onto the stage and turned to face the audience. “The court has reached a decision!” she announced happily. Eridan glanced at Karkat, who was still glaring at Terezi, grim faced. He wished he could reach out and take his hand, but he wasn’t quite close enough…

“Eridan Ampora, you are hereby sentenced to one sweep of hard manual labor at the space port, after which your loyalty to the crown will be reassessed. At that time your current position as a guard may be reinstated, depending on your exemplary performance.”

There was a murmur from the crowd again, though they didn’t sound nearly as angry as they had when the trial had begun.

Eridan stared at her in wordless shock. That… wasn’t a culling sentence. Far from it. Labor he could do. He could do that easily, even with a recently broken finger…

Terezi turned to the other stand. “Karkat Vantas,” she said and now her grin turned positively sadistic. “You are hereby stripped of your advisory status to the throne for crimes against the empire.”

Karkat stood with a growl. “Terezi, you can’t just-!”

“AH HA!” she exclaimed. “Sit down, right now, or find yourself in contempt of court!”

Two large guards from the doorway to the courthouse took a step towards the stage. Karkat shot them a look and grit his teeth before abruptly sitting down.

Eridan stared wordlessly. How was it that Terezi could even do this? Didn’t Karkat lead the rebellion? How could he just lose that? The crowd looked beyond confused as well, some were whispering to each other, others just stared at the witness stands.

 You will report to duty at the barracks to train the new arrivals from Alternia,” Terezi continued. “Which you will do for a period of one sweep before you can return to any previous duties.”

Karkat’s hands were clenched in fists of rage, his teeth visibly grinding together as he struggled not to speak.

“Furthermore!” Terezi continued gleefully. “You are BOTH,” she pointed a sharp claw at Karkat and Eridan in turn. “Not allowed anywhere near each other for the next sweep, until Ampora’s sentence has been fulfilled. Any contact of any kind will lead to harsher sentencing for you both!”

Karkat actually rolled his eyes at that. “The drones will be coming any day now,” he pointed out. “Why the hell wouldn’t I be able to pail my matesprit?”

“By the Empress’ decree, drone donations are now voluntary! Your objection is overruled!”

“You can’t just-“

“This court is adjourned,” Terezi added with a flourish. Any further protests from Karkat were drowned out from the renewed roar from the crowd.

Eridan gave Karkat a stricken look. “Kar?” he began as several large guards started to move towards them.

Karkat looked at him then, that particular guilty expression on his face again. It changed into a weary smile as his eyes raked across his face. “You’re free,” he said, in a voice low enough that only Eridan could hear it. He reached out then, across the stand, towards him. Eridan stared for a moment before reaching himself. He couldn’t touch the other stand alone, but with both of them reaching out… their hands connected and Karkat’s warm fingers clasped his own. They held, only for a moment and then the guards were there, breaking their tentative connection. Large hands grasped his shoulders, shoving him back against the railing.

Karkat straightened himself, scowl on his face as he shrugged off the guards. “Don’t you fucking touch me,” he snarled and the guards obeyed him. The smaller troll put his chin in the air and marched off on his own. Eridan let himself be led down the steps, sparing a glance up at Sollux as he did so. His former kismesis just gave him a lazy smile and waved.

Asshole.

And then he was out the door, stepping out into the cool night air of the city, surrounded by hives and night life and trolls who had no idea who he was or what had just happened. The guards let him go and shoved him again, away this time, and he stumbled a step before righting himself. He glanced back at them, only to have them slam the door of the courthouse shut behind him.

He was alone. He was alone, and very much alive.

.

He stripped down to just his pants as he began his slow stroll towards his old hive, hoping beyond hope that some sort of home still existed for him. He had been away… how long had it been now? Two perigees? At least? Sollux may have sold the hive, it was half his, after all.

His finger ached. So did his recently broken spines. He wondered where on the space port he was supposed to be working, and what shift. Terezi hadn’t said anything beyond his sentencing…

.

It was on his husktop when he got to his hive, an official letter from the throne. It blinked cheerfully at him and told him in pretty fuchsia text where he was to show up for work the next night.

Eridan was amazed that it was still there, the hive he shared with Sollux, though he noticed as he walked through block after block that it was startlingly bare. Sollux had moved out… none of his possessions remained. Everything of Eridan’s was still there, including the violet blood stains on the carpet. His clothes hung in his sleeping block. His husktop and his state issued rifle and…

He collapsed on the couch in the visiting block. This hive was utterly bare of any sign of Sol but it was still here, it was HIS and he was FREE.

He sobbed, soft broken sounds welling up from his throat, nights upon nights of stress leaving him beyond able to cope. He cried into the upholstery like a wiggler and felt miserable because he had lost everything, and yet was somehow still alive enough to have nothing else left to lose.

.


End file.
